Blather Magather

Does this look right to you?

2010-03-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

My Sidekick is out of town. We are talking on the phone. It's mid-day.

Me: There's something in the backyard, and I'm not sure what it is.
Sidekick: What do you mean something in the backyard?
Me: I woke up this morning and saw a yellow thing just sitting in the yard.
Sidekick: What kind of yellow thing?
Me: I don't know. I can't tell. I'm a little nervous to go look.
Sidekick: How big is it?
Me: Like the size of a rubber duckie. But it's not a rubber duckie. I can tell that.
Sidekick: Whaaat?! Where is it?
Me: Over by the shed. Maybe I'll just walk over to it while you're on the phone with me.

As an aside, I don't know what it could've been that required someone be on the phone with me, but whatever. Better safe than sorry.

Sidekick: Well, be careful. I don't know what it could be.
Me (as I'm slowly walking across my backyard): I don't know, man. It's weird-looking. I can tell you that. Oh.
Sidekick: What.
Me: Could it be a lemon?
Sidekick: Where is it again?
Me (sheepishly): Under the lemon tree.
Sidekick: Uh huh.
Me: No, it's really big and weird-shaped.
Sidekick: Uh huh.
Me (right up on it): Uhm.
Sidekick: What.
Me: It's a lemon.

Look, seriously. If you'd seen this thing on your lawn, you woulda been nervous, too.

Right?!

It seems like there is a non-zero chance that these lemons could become some mutant species and take over the world. I had every reason to be nervous. Seriously. Look at that thing.

The Garland! The Garland!

2010-03-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am so good at starting things. Really good. I can start a project with the best of 'em. The finishing is a different story. For example, I have a really beautiful Kushu Kushu scarf that I finished in 2008 that has but one more tiny step (blocking) to make it wearable. I don't know what my problem is.

Given this personal flaw, I was so proud of myself for finishing the garland so quickly. I mean, I really turned that thing around fast. I made four long strands of adorable garland in a few short days! But then the blogging of it? That tiny last step? Lagging!

Editor's note: There's a good joke to be made with "lagging blogging", but none of them are really doing it for me right this moment. There's the Ikea-product joke. Too obvious. There's the Lagging, Blogging, and Hauser, how can we help you? law firm joke. Meh. There's the some-guy's-name joke. Buh. Sorry about that. Feel free to leave your best Lagging Blogging joke in the comments, if you'd like.

Anyhoodles, I'm just gonna post a few little photos. Dipping my toe back in. Breaking the ice. Taking the first of the last steps.

Oh, it's SO cute in person! I'd promise more details and/or humor, but I am not to be trusted. Clearly.

But look at that garland!! Aaargh!

(Thanks for sticking with me. And thanks to all of you who continue to nudge me... Much love to you.)

Cheese bread interlude

2010-02-23T11:21:00.000-08:00

Before the big garland reveal, I must show you that asiago cheese bread I made back on Super Bowl Sunday.

It was made of win, not only because of its tastiness, but also because of its uncanny resemblance to an overstuffed bird and/or a blowfish.

Right?! You see it. The beak. The gills. It's all right there!

A crusty, soft, and cute little loaf of bread with chunks of cheese inside. Effing yum!

It had a nice hint of black pepper flavor to it, and I'm told it went really well with the chili that our friend made. I recommend!

Recipe is in this book. Super easy to make. If you like bread and you like cheese (and who doesn't), you should make it.

And that's what the blowfish bird cheese bread and I have to say to you about that. Make it!

The garland begins

2010-02-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

The next phase of the making of the garland...

Printed out the template onto regular printer paper. Felt a little chumpy about using the template since it's just 3 circles in ascending sizes, but let's be honest. I'm not going to figure out how to make circles in the designated sizes, so I'd best just be grateful they're giving this away for free.

Cut out the paper circles. Took a deep breath.

Noticed some thick cardboard poking out of one of the bags in my crafting room. Is it silly to mount the paper template onto this thick cardboard? Can I even cut through the cardboard with my scissors? Does it even really matter?

Oh, it always matters. Lest ye forget. It always matters.

Figured I might as well give it a go. Used some of my awesome adhesive that I use when making cards, adhered one paper circle at a time to the thick cardboard, and started cutting.

That cardboard doesn't look particularly thick, I realize -- it's probably 1/8" max -- but it still wasn't terribly fun to do in that it required using some hand strength. Delicate flower that I am, I prefer tests of hand endurance over tests of hand strength. Oh, I'll knit or hand-quilt for hours at a stretch, but don't make me squeeze something hard. I just don't care for it.

But I did it. And I'm glad I did.

It really came in handy later.

So now there I was, face to face with these three circles on cardboard and a pile of untouched felt. This is a place I've been before. I know it well. Somebody's got to make the next move. And that somebody is me. But which oh which move to make? Answer: The one that yields 200 felt circles being cut without anyone losing a limb or a week.

How about if I just hold the mounted template down onto the felt then cut around with my rotary cutter on my self-healing mat?

FAIL. This was impossible. No way to get around the circle well. Just blech. What's funny is that this was so close to the best solution, yet it would take me several more flings with fails to finally get there. (Flings With Fails might be a good band name, but I think it's really better in the "Flings featuring Fails" configuration, you know, the way all the hip kids are doing it these days. I am so cool.)

Then I remembered the tremendous success I've had with washable markers. Yeah! Let's do that! Washable Marker!

No. Let's not. What am I gonna do, cut this out and then carefully wash away the residual purple ink along the edges? For 200 circles? No. I am in fact not going to do that.

How about using something lighter like those Chacopel Fines that I won't have to wash off?

Yes. This seemed to be going well -- tracing around the template with the pencil, then cutting the felt circle out with my fancy scissors. (Eeep! If you follow that scissors link, there's a futuristic looking seam ripper they've got going on that looks like no joke. Whoo-eee. What will they think of next?!)

So, after about an hour of tracing and cutting, here's what I had:

Seventeen circles and the sinking feeling that this was not the best way.

Also! Friendly tip!

In case you're thinking that you like this pencil method and that you'd be able to speed through it more quickly than I would, fair enough. But be warned: using the handy Chacopel brush to get rid of the marks you've made en-fuzzens the edges, because that's what happens when you BRUSH felt. If you decide to leave the marks on to keep your edges intact, the whole thing will look faded and crappelle. But to each her own. Do what you must.

Gee, if only there were some way to mark the fabric without leaving some visible residue.

The Hera marking tool! Makes a crease rather than a mark! Oh, right. FAIL. Can't get around the circle well. Can't see the crease. I made a crappy mark and a crappy circle. So sleepy.

In the process of trying to clean up the mess that this method made, I held the cardboard template against the felt between my thumb and forefinger of my left hand and used the scissors in my right hand. Turning my left hand in a circular motion while keeping the scissors relatively stable, I zipped around that thing so fast I think I actually laughed out loud.

At the two hour point, I had this many:

And by the next morning, I had all the circles I needed:

200 circles... plus a few to grow on, just by holding the template in place against the felt and cutting around it with scissors.

The fact that the cardboard was thick meant I wasn't shaving slivers off of the template as a cut around it, so I do recommend a thick mount. (Oh, get your mind out of that gutter, pervs!)

I found the whole thing quite soothing and fun in the end.

I'd like to think that my process of discovery here can help someone out there. Not only does that make me a super-helpful blogger friend, but it also keeps me from having to admit that I may very well be the slowest kid in craft school.

Next step: Sewing!

Wool. Felt.

2010-02-14T14:27:00.000-08:00

I remember! I remember! Crafting is SO fun!! Aaaargh!

Ok. So. Big Alice really hooked me up. The other day when I wrote about my longing for some affordable wool felt, she left a comment real casual-like about how maybe I should try this place.

(I'm realizing this post may turn into a gush-fest, so you might want to put some galoshes on.)

Over at this place, the wool felt is totally affordable. Not only that, they've done you the giant favor of making color bundles for you. Really adorable bundles! In adorable colors! So many great combinations, it was all I could do to order just one. I have my prudent and wise mind to thank for this.

You've never ordered from them before, and neither has Big Alice. You don't even really know how you feel about wool felt. Yes, the colors are great. But let's just take this slow.

But also? Right next to the bundles? Embroidery floss. Floss that coordinates with the wool felt bundles. They went all Garanimals on my ass! No agonizing over which color goes with which thing. All I had to do was pick the color combos I liked the best.

Dude, slow down. Yes, they've done you the giant favor of making everything go together. But, to reiterate, you don't know how you feel about wool felt. And your plan is to make garland with this felt. Nowhere in the garland recipe is embroidery floss called for. Slow your roll.

So all I did was order the Carnival bundle. That was it. I showed restraint. I was testing it out.

And then it got to my house super fast!

Just because it got to your house really fast doesn't mean you should go right back on there and get more! You haven't made anything with it. You just took it out of the box! Your ability to be wowed is really remarkable. Really.

But look look!

Is this not the perfect bundle for the garland?! I say yes! Perfect! And it's the perfect excuse to go into that room that I'm trying to make into a craft room and get crafting!

Oh! The excitement is almost too much to handle! I will push unpacked boxes aside. I will find extension cords. I will properly install the new lamp that my Sidekick bought me, and I will officially get crafting!

Way to show restraint in this post. You and I both know you have already begun sewing the garland and that you have photos of the whole hilarious process, and yet you are doling it out across several posts. Prudent. Wise. Stay strong, crazy lady. Stay strong.

On snafus

2010-02-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

Jim Lahey's got me. He's really got me.

That's how I was going to start the blog post called The Cheese Bread. I was going to go on and on about this asiago cheese bread I made from Jim Lahey's book. All about the cheesiness and the glory of it all. But the little elves in my computer weren't having it. They were absolutely not interested in supplying me with the necessary photos that I know are in there.

I won't bore you with what didn't show up where and who cursed at what. But I will say that I decided to treat it as an exercise in equanimity. It just is what it is. No cheese bread photo. No cheese bread post. For now.

I took the opportunity to sit here quietly and look out my window into my new backyard. Thinking about what a beautiful day it is and how lucky I feel about that and so many other things, I spied a little grey bird sitting on a post back there.

That little bird is a regular on that post. Well, I see a bird out there every day, and I've decided it's the same one. As I watched him, he flitted from the post to a branch and back to the post again. I was struck by the loveliness of the idea that it might be the same bird -- some little guy who flies all over the city but then comes back here to this post. You know, to chill before he heads back out into the world. As I thought that, he looked right at me. And I felt a very sweet connection with that bird in that moment. I really did. And it was in that quiet moment, that moment of perfect stillness, with our eyes locked in a peaceful and seemingly loving gaze that he pooped on my lawn and flew away.

True story.

I would've never had that experience had the computer elves complied with my wishes. So, see? It's all to the good. Now, whenever I'm having a sweet moment of appreciation, I have a bit of shtick I can employ that I didn't have before today. It's like a free gift from that bird! I have to come up with a good name for it, though, because "the poop and fly" really isn't up to the very high standards I have for my bits. Any and all suggestions welcome.

The Bread

2010-02-07T14:05:00.000-08:00

Baking is weird.

First of all, it's mostly washing dishes, I'm discovering. What no one tells you is that Sewing is mostly ironing, Football is mostly getting up off the ground, and Baking is mostly washing dishes. That's ok. That's cool. I can handle that. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all.

What's really weird, though, is the anxiety about whether or not something is gonna turn out ok. With other crafts, I certainly have the same anxiety (see all my posts about being sure I'm on the verge of ruining something completely). But here's the difference: you're not going to feed a quilt to somebody. If you make a scarf that has a weird flaw in it, no one's going to actually throw up. Different game, different stakes with the baking.

Since I don't cook, I don't spend any time with this I-might-be-poisoning-people fear, and I imagine it passes. (I should say on the record that I really appreciate the fact that my Sidekick hasn't poisoned me yet, what with my not cooking and everything.) To be fair, I am exaggerating about how big a deal this particular fear is. I follow instructions closely, and I mostly figure it'll all work out. But still, the outer edge of failure here is poisoning. With other crafts, it's just humiliation.

That being said, I've made bread.

My first go at bread ever was using this recipe. As it turns out, there's a major craze associated with this bread and its no-knead method. I am quite late to this crazy party, but it doesn't make me any less enthusiastic about it. (I had a similar experience over Thanksgiving when I took a train from New York to Boston and was all, "Traveling by rail is absolutely delightful!" Super late to that party.)

These are pictures of my third try with this recipe. Forgive me for asking that you imagine the first two, since no blog meant no photos.

My very first try was marked by the bread being partially burned. When you think your Sidekick has put the rack on the very bottom of the oven explicitly for you, and he hasn't? You get a burned bread bottom. Don't think I wasn't real salty about this. In spite of this flaw, the bread did make for the most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches of all time. What really kicked it over was the Cougar Gold cheese, courtesy of my wasband. My Sidekick, my wasband, and I could not believe our good fortune eating those sandwiches. Highly recommended!

The second try at the bread was less eventful and totally delicious. And as you see here in try number three, I scrapped the oat bran and went with only flour on the outside. Fantastic in its own right.

What's not weird about this whole baking thing and me is that I've now bought the cookbook by the bread guy and a new dutch oven to make all kinds of this bread, and all I want to do is make more bread. In fact, a loaf of asiago cheese bread from that book is cooling on my counter right this moment. Photos to follow, provided everything goes according to plan. May no one be harmed in the eating of that bread. Amen.

I forgot

2010-02-01T17:27:00.000-08:00

In the time I've been away from crafting, I've managed to completely forget some pretty fundamental things. How to thread my sewing machine. Where I put my knitting patterns. Things like that. But there are three really big things that I should've remembered but didn't, until today:

1. There are * a billion * beautiful items to make out there in the world.
2. The Purl Bee is a source of many of those beautiful items.
3. Purl wants all of my money. ALL of my money.

So, I want to make this garland, right?

Photo from The Purl Bee

Yes, yes. We all want to make this garland. Well, it's a MILLION dollars. So if you have an extra million lying around, this is the project for you. It calls for 10 colors of wool felt at $ 8.50 a pop. That's eighty-five dollars, y'all! For garland! For adorable garland, sure, but ow-wee.

I really want to make it, though. So I thought I'd be all clever and do some bargain shopping for wool felt. I figured it was worth a try.

First, I tried this place. Felt was a little less expensive there, but I couldn't really be sure about the colors. So, I couldn't pull the trigger.

Then I remembered that this place is right around the corner from me now. If it's good enough for the LA season of Project Runway, it should be good enough for me! I went there, thoughtfully looked at all the colors, carefully touched all the weights. Then, before I got in too deep, I checked the prices. Hey! $25-35 a yard! Great! Oh, wait. Not great. Not great at all. Still around the same price as my beloved Purl, I'm pretty sure. I left the store with the invisible thread that the garland pattern calls for, spending a whopping $1.92.

Can you imagine how beautiful my garland is going to be? It will be 5 strands of invisible thread draped from my dining room ceiling. It'll be grand.

Harumph! The only thing that may save me here is a Purl gift certificate from a year and a half ago that I still have not redeemed. I could throw that at this problem and see where we get. But, really? Shouldn't there be some other way? (Please don't say acrylic felt. I'm so very afraid you'll say acrylic felt. Isn't it a fire hazard? Aaaaargh.)

This whole thing fills me with a gnawing, swirling, crazy mix of desire and trepidation. Hey, there it is! I'm pretty sure that very specific cocktail of feelings is the sign that I'm officially back! No matter what happens with the garland, it was all worth it to get to that.

Yum

2010-01-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

Thanks for hanging in with me here, people. I'm getting back in the groove. It's all happening. I may not be posting every day, but I assure you, I am working to get back there.

In the meantime...

I was at the gym yesterday, waiting for my exercise class to start and chatting with a woman standing next to me. It was a very lovely conversation, friendly and jovial.

Woman: Have you been to that giant new grocery store down the street from you?

Me: No. I don't go into grocery stores.

Woman: What? Do you have any food in your house?

Me: I do!

Woman: How does it get there?

Me: My partner does all the shopping. It's great.

Woman: Do you cook?

Me: No, no. He does all the cooking. I really don't do any of that.

Woman: Oh, wow. Do you do anything?!

Me: Ha HA! I must be good for something!

I found this exchange hilarious and delightful. I am good for so many things.

Here's one thing I'm good for that you didn't even know about:

Graham cracker chewy bars

BOOM! I'm baking, y'all! This is new. Super new.

This baking thing started when my Sidekick and I moved into a new house a couple of months ago. Well, that's not entirely true. I seem to recall I made a lot of chocolate mousse when I was a child, so let's just say this is not my first baked-goods rodeo. It is worth noting, though, that the last time I was at said rodeo, I was probably wearing something with Holly Hobbie on it, so I can't get all big-headed about it or anything.

Here's the point: these bars are delicious. The link to the recipe is here. You should make them. Then you should eat them. Because, as I've mentioned, they are delicious.

Also, delicious?

That little poodle sitting in the sun. I was taking pictures of my chewy bars, and there he was, just staring out the window, right under the table. So sweet.

So my Sidekick may do all the cooking, but I am on the case with the baked goods. Well, that and the bread. (More on the bread another time.) Hooray and yum!

It begins

2010-01-22T15:49:00.000-08:00

I have a question for you. It's kind of like a story problem.

Let's say you own a store. For the sake of this question, let's say it's a yarn store. You sell yarn.

You with me? Great.

Ok, so let's say that you decide that your yarn store will be open Monday through Saturday. You need to rest one day a week, so that day will be Sunday. You further decide you'll be open from 12-6pm. You want to be able to sleep in and have some time to relax in the evenings. Very reasonable. Monday through Saturday, 12-6. These will be your business hours.

So, here's the question: If a person goes to your store on a Friday at 12:30pm planning to buy yarn, money in hand, soaked from the torrential downpour that is this week's weather in Los Angeles, what are the chances that that person will be able to enter your store and buy the yarn that you are selling?

Think about it. Show your work. Carry the 2... Don't get cocky.

The answer is:

0. Zero percent chance. Why? Because. Just because.

Here's the dialogue you might have supplied with your answer:

Me: Yeah, hi, I know you're not responsible for them or anything, but do you know if the store next door is planning on being open today? It says on the door that she's open Monday through Saturday, from 12 to 6, and it's 12:30 now.
Hip Guy at the store next door to the yarn store: Oh, yeah. They should be open. Try knocking.
Me: I did actually.
Hip Guy: Hm. Yeah. Sometimes they do that.
Me: Do that?
HG: Don't open even though there's someone there.
Me: ???
HG: There's someone there. Sometimes they just don't open. You could try knocking on the metal door around back.
Me: Really?
HG: Yeah.
Me: Ok, I'll try that. Thank you. I appreciate it. So sorry to bother you.
HG: No, no. People come in here all the time asking me that same question.
Me: ???!!!
HG: I guess she's just on her own schedule over there.

You did not have to include the fact that no one answered the back door in your answer.

Here is a follow-up question: You, with the yarn store over there. What are you, made of money?
Further: What, my money's no good with you?
And finally: Come ON, people. Really?!

Just like riding a bike

2010-01-19T13:27:00.000-08:00

Ok. Sure. But what if I never learned to ride a bike? Then what? Then when I go back to something after a long time, it's just like... like... driving a car? Reading a book? Making macaroni? These are not helpful, able though I may be to do each and every one of those things.

Now, when I tell you it's been a long time, I mean I haven't made anything in the last year and half. Really. Though the last thing I did make was kind of glorious.

In this photo you can actually see two things I made in August of '08: (1) Loksins socks. (2) A broken toe.

Funny story.

You know how when you're really looking forward to something, like say your very favorite dance class of all time that just happens to fall exactly on your 40th birthday for example, and you get all excited about it and can't stop talking about how it's your salvation and how it signals the beginning of a wonderful turning point in life? Well, that's when you break your toe getting out of bed. No dance class on your 40th. A black boot all summer long. No salvation. Only pain.

The socks, though. Those were awesome! They were the socks in question in this spectacular incident. And they were beautiful. (Pattern: Loksins. Yarn: Lisa Souza.)

I cannot begin to imagine what it would take to make such a sock today. I am so rusty, so out of the loop. But! We're... getting back on the horse? Looking on the bright side? Gladly paying tomorrow for a hamburger today? No. No. No.

I have to tell you. I had no idea that not learning how to ride a bike would come back to bite me like this. Not like this.

Oh, hi there.

2010-01-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

Remember when I had a blog?

That was awesome.

I would like to have a blog again. Mostly because it was great -- the making of stuff, the cracking of jokes, the loving of all things fantastic -- all great. But even more great than all of that? Being connected to other people who are making, cracking, and loving, too.

So, let's see what we might get going here. Rusty though I may be, I would really like to make, crack and love together again.

(Note to self: "Make, crack, and love" probably not the best slogan. Relies heavily on punctuation. Could very easily be misunderstood. Revise!)

Gratuitous photo of my adorable poodle who is all for doing this thing.

Slowing down

2008-07-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much to each and every one of you who has left a comment and kept me and my dear friends in your thoughts. This is the first time I've looked at the blog since I last posted, and I am touched and overwhelmed at your kindness. Really, really - thank you.

What I didn't say in the previous post was that the friend who died was 39 years old when he was killed in that traffic accident in May. He had been a very close friend of mine for 20 years.

Another thing I didn't mention is that he met the love of his life -- the woman I've called B-SNAK here -- at my 30th birthday party. She and I had been working together and developing a friendship back then, and when I invited her to my party, they fell in love. And they were a gloriously perfect match. Both brilliant and funny. Both political and passionate. Both committed to a lifetime together filled with love and laughter and critical thinking ('cause that's how we nerds do).

And that all ended in an instant.

My dearest friend was not killed by a drunk driver. He was not killed by someone on a cell phone. My friend was killed by a guy who was just in a hurry. A perfectly nice guy I'm sure. But in a hurry all the same. One minute he's just trying to get where he's going, the next minute he's wrecked countless lives by killing someone.

I beg of you: please drive safely out in this world. Please look out for others. Please do your best to factor in enough time to get where you're going so you're not in a rush on the roads. And if you can't do that -- if time really isn't on your side for reasons beyond your control -- please be late. Please. I beg of you.

Hiatus

2008-05-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

The blog will have to wait for a bit.
One of my dearest friends was killed in a traffic accident last Thursday.
I will be spending a lot of time with my beloved B-SNAK. My dearest friend loved her very much for the 10 years they were together.

As he often said, "This both sucks and blows."

Dust off the needles, people.

2008-04-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

It's been a good long while since the craft I was cursing was knitting. Right? It's been all sewing and quilting and other nonsense for quite a bit.

BUT!

I think I have to make this scarf. It's purty! I wanna make it! Don't you wanna make it? Say yes! Hooray!

The sun is shining. It's hot as hell outside. And I am ready to knit a scarf.

Let's do this thing!

Oh! P.S. I just drove past that knitting store, and it is officially closed for business. I would love to know what happened and/or what the last straw was. Maybe they fell asleep and the snobbery they'd been smoking sparked some yarn, which then led to the whole place self-combusting. I bet that's it. Yeah. I'm going with that. Self-snobbed combustion it was!

So many reasons

2008-04-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there's some central list somewhere of all the reasons bloggers slow down or take hiatuses (haiti?) from blogging. Not knowing where that list is (read: I'm too lazy to look for it), I feel I owe you at least one of the reasons I've been so out of the loop for the last few months. By the way? I know you will find this mind-blowingly fascinating.

At a minimum, I think it may serve as a nice reminder that a change to the smallest thing can cause rather big and unexpected changes to other things.

So, I think it all changed when I started working out in the mornings.

Why would this have anything to do with it? Have I become so athletic that I don't care for crafting anymore, you're wondering? Ha! Hilarious. Don't be silly.

This had been the series of events that would lead to blogging: I would take photos of a crafty item, upload the photos, maybe tweak the photos, write about the item (and/or the photo), and post to the blog. Done. A critical ingredient in there, though, was the light. Nice light? Nice photo.

The best light of the day is in the mornings, in my living room. However! Now that I'm out of the house during the Good Light, taking photos has slowed waaaay down. That, in turn, means no fodder for the hilarious commentary. Sure, I could've been giving you some photo-less Overheard posts, but there just haven't been any that are up to snuff. (This one was so great, I don't know if anything will ever rate again.) So there you go - no light, no photos, no blog fodder. Boo.

I'm not sure how to remedy this. Maybe I'll set up a light box. Maybe I'll go back to making drawings to augment the posts. (My wasband did just give me this awesome drawing tablet that is pretty great.) Something.

I know that when I was feeling bad about not posting, I also felt bad going to other blogs (this makes no sense whatsoever, but it's true). So no posting, very little reading, all around steeeenky situation. I really miss being active in the community of awesome crafters, I can tell you that much.

I'm trying to stay close to the Blogging Without Obligation ideas, because they made me really happy when I read them. For those of you who blog, how do you negotiate your blogging time? I'd be interested to hear. For those of you who don't, aren't you happy to be free of this little dilemma?

Thank you so much for all of your comments and help with my crafting-related troubles recently. You've been super helpful and have kept me feeling connected. So, really, thank you. If you're ever in town, I hope you'll allow me to repay you with a nice cup of iron-brewed coffee and sewing machine-made waffles. It would be my pleasure.

Oh, the wadding.

2008-04-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the completion of that Rail Fence baby quilt, I decided to pull Quiltie out again.

Always with the pulling Quiltie out again. I know. I know.

Did I mention that my Sidekick named one of his Guitar Hero bands "Sad Quiltie"? Or that out of the blue my wasband said to me, "Quiltie's never gonna get finished, huh?" in the spirit of, "You can level with me. I can take it." Quiltie isn't even for him. It's for me. God bless 'em.

So we're back to trying to see the lines I drew, using some masking tape here and there, and toying with the idea of using washable marker to re-draw the faded marks. (I must admit that even though I had success with those markers, I am reluctant to put ink to Quiltie.)

I am also fully expecting to hear from the Department of Neglected Crafts, Quilt-Wadding Division any day now. When I do, I will point out that Quiltie still has the best seat in the house, and that, at a minimum, he's got two non-crafting guys looking out for his well-being. It'll all be fine, I'm sure.

Quiltie!

My steam iron

2008-04-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

When I turn on my iron, it smells like someone tried to brew a cup of coffee in it. Seriously.

(1) Should I be concerned?

(2) If I wanted it to do something about it, what would I do?

And finally:

(3) What other things could I make my iron smell like?

Discuss.

Extra credit/bonus question: Who the hell was making coffee in my iron?

After

2008-03-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

Longest. Cliffhanger. Ever!

Did the orange marker wash out? Did the quilt hold up after a wash 'n' tumble?

Boy, oh, boy. Sorry to have made you wait so long for the answers.

So. Got your drums a-rolling?

Let's get on with it, then.

Here you go:

I have found a new love, everyone. It is Mr. Washable Marker!

Every last bit of orange ink came out! This, even after having been on the quilt for two weeks or so. Not a trace of it was left after the machine-wash in cold water. (I don't know how much to credit the two color catchers I threw in with the quilt, but that's neither here nor there.)

The quilt looks great.

It was delivered to the mama four days before the baby's arrival, so I'm hoping it's already being put to good use.

Specs:
Fabric: Katie Jump Rope by Denyse Schmidt for Free Spirit.
Pattern: Rail Fence blocks with my own border added.
Batting: Couldn't tell you. Some batting I found in my closet. It's thin-ish.
Assembly: Machine-pieced, birthed, then hand-quilted with Coats & Clark poly/cotton hand-quilting thread in color 256 (natural).

Hooray!

Next time I'll give you the List of Excuses, Reasons, and Nonsense that attempt to explain my long absence. (Nothing major, I promise.)

Big hug to you all!!

Before

2008-03-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

Now that you know about my torrid but brief affairs with various marking tools, I think you can handle some details about my current relationship with the washable markers. I've been silent on it thus far because we've been in the wait-and-see period. And while we aren't out of the woods yet (I don't know if it's really gonna wash out), I thought I'd let you know how it's been going.

I will admit that I had this idea that using markers on my quilt would inspire an unprecedented hand-quilting speed. I really did. I figured I would be fueled by a strong fear of ruining the whole thing by leaving the marker on too long. Well. Turns out I'm not inspired by fear. Good news in life. Maybe not such good news here.

I am very close to being done, though, and I will give you all the details in the "After" post. But in the meantime, I thought you might appreciate this little marking detail:

Let me give you a closer look:

This is the "wait, wait" portion of the marking. "Wait, wait, that's not the curve I want. No. Wait, wait. That's better. No. Wait. There!"

Isn't it gonna be hilarious when that orange marker stays on the quilt permanently? No, right? Do you think I could blame the baby for it somehow? No! What kind of monster am I that I would even think of such a thing?! Seriously. It's a baby! Hmmm.

How about this? I'll say it's a new trend in quilting. In baby-quilting in particular. Having lines drawn on it like that takes the pressure off the kid and the parents to keep the quilt in pristine condition. That's it! That's what I'm going with if this shit doesn't come out.

I hope you'll back me up on it.

Here's hoping this one works.

2008-02-26T17:34:00.000-08:00

Dear Washable Markers,

Hi. We met at my PIC's house a couple of months ago. I was the one with the polka-dotted baby quilt who kind of didn't want to meet you, and ended up using you to draw the lines on the quilt so I could sew my quilting lines straight. Remember me? Yeah. I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I seemed stand-offish that day. I think I owe you an explanation for my cool exterior.

I'm sure you've met women like me before -- women who've been in relationships with other marking tools and then show up to a new tool with an "attitude" or whatever. Well, it's not you or anything -- I mean, you say right on your package that I can trust you -- it's just that I've had relationships with lots of other marking tools, and they have been challenging. Really, really challenging.

I know some tools get jealous when women talk about their exes, but I think without a frank talk about what went wrong and what went right, we're doomed to failure. So, given that you seem like you care about winning, I'm gonna give you the highlights. I think we might then be able to move ahead with a shared sense of understanding and purpose. Don't you think? I do.

So. OK. This guy:

This guy was really sharp, and I had lots of hope for the relationship because of that. But turns out sharp isn't everything. I tried so hard to make it work with him, but it was just a mess. Literally, a dirty, smudgy mess. He eventually ran out of lead. I ran out of patience. And I moved on. I don't want a mess. So sue me.

These guys:

I was with these guys in the early days. You know the kind: All enthusiastic in the beginning, trotting out all the fun colors, talking about how soft and versatile they are. Yeah. Well. They disappear. They disappear, and then when you go back to them, they make all these promises to stick around again. And guess what? They fucking disappear again. They are the reason Quiltie and I are having trouble to this day. Thanks a lot, Chacopel Fine. Thanks, but no thanks.

And then there was this one:

This one really broke my heart. Hera was her name. Some people I really trust set me up with her and gave her glowing reviews. "She's incredibly tidy -- no mess at all -- and she sticks around," they said. Only problem was, I couldn't see her. We made marks together, and yet, try as I might, it was such a struggle to be at the right angle, in the right light. I would've had to get reading glasses or something to make it work. I suppose I was simply too old for her. Sad, really. She was perfectly lovely, and I know she'll make someone else very, very happy.

So, I'm giving you a try, Washable Markers. I can certainly go without marking tools and free-hand my quilting; I started this latest baby quilt exactly that way, in fact. But I think having a nice, effective marking tool to help guide me through these circles will be a nice thing.

Just don't fuck me over by not washing out.

(If you don't wash out, mister, there will be hell to pay, I assure you.)

(Hell!)

Sincerely,
Dr. B.

F The Machine

2008-02-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

I'm wandering around the living room, staring at the baby quilt spread out on the floor. I'm just about to start sticking safety pins in it to get it ready for machine-quilting.

I say to my Sidekick, who is innocently sitting on the couch, "Hey, honey. I think I'm gonna hand-quilt the baby quilt." (Yes. You read that right. Hand-quilt.)

My Sidekick looks up from what he's doing, thinks for a moment, then responds in a tone that I'd describe as concerned, yet intrigued. Kind of how I imagine he'd react if I told him I was going to tile our kitchen with diamonds. "Why? "

"I think it'll look better than if I machine-quilt it."

"Sure." This he says in a very supportive, but still concerned way.

"It will. I can't hand-tie it like Ashley said to do. I'm too scared the baby will choke on the ties."

"We don't want that."

"And I think I want to quilt it with circles or swirlies like I did with my SIL's heating pad cover."

"That did look good."

"So, good idea, right?"

He nods silently and looks off into space for a moment. I figure he's probably thinking about all the good ideas I've ever had, how amazing they've all been, and how in awe he is of me and my good ideas. Then, he looks at me with a twinkle in his eye and asks, "When's the baby due?"

He was thinking of all my good ideas, alright -- every last one that took every last minute of exactly twelve hundred years.

And with that, the deal was sealed.

I am a multi-problemed individual.

Since the baby is due well before February of 3208, I'd ask that you wish me luck in this endeavor.

Note: For those not familiar, the (cleaned-up) title of this post comes from this movie, the source of about half of what we say on any given day around here. The title is not, as it might appear, a direct attack on my fancy sewing machine. I love you, fancy sewing machine.

Of borders and backings

2008-02-18T23:35:00.000-08:00

Quilt top (on over-sized batting) you've seen before.

ME (on the phone with my Partner-In-Crime): I finished the quilt top for that baby quilt.
PIC: That's so exciting!
ME: Now I just have to figure out how to finish the whole thing.
PIC: That is not at all exciting.
ME: I know, right?
PIC: Right.
ME: Oh, shit. I think I have to make borders for it.
PIC: Why?
ME: Otherwise the blocks will just run right into the edge, and it'll look fucked up. And I think you're supposed to do it for stability maybe, too. I don't know.
PIC: What does the pattern say?
ME: There is no pattern, really. I just got the Rail Fence block pattern from this site that has a million quilt block patterns on it.
PIC: Hmm.
ME: And I wasn't really thinking about the borders part.
PIC: I don't know what to tell you.
ME: At first I was thinking I could just do the birthing thing and be done with it, like I did with that last baby quilt.

Finished baby quilt you've never seen before.

PIC: That looked really good. Do that.
ME: That was different, though. That was just two pieces of fabric stuck together, and this is a bunch of pieced blocks. I don't think it'll look right if I just sew the back to it.
PIC: But it would be quicker.
ME: Yes. It would. But--
PIC: You know what I'd do.
ME: Grrrr.

As you might imagine, I tried approximately twenty-nine solutions to this "finishing" dilemma, starting with trying to find the right fabric for the back of the quilt. I bought an orange-colored fabric and immediately hated it (too slippery), ordered an espresso-colored fabric (not slippery, but way too dark for a baby quilt), bought yet another fabric -- flannel this time ("too thin for quilts," said the Internet Genius Pool. Note: While I am very grateful for the IGP, I wish they'd been with me at the store. Woulda been nice, IGP, is all I'm saying).

I almost gave up at this point. Really. Almost.

But I kept at it.

I took lots of deep breaths and tried a different approach. Instead of focusing on the back of the quilt, which I just couldn't figure out, I tried to figure out the borders for the front.

OK. Now, this would be cute! The ruler is really cute for a kid -- kids like numbers, right? -- and the orange of the "64" will bring out the orange in the quilt! Yay!

Oh. Wait. That actually looks like shit.

ME (on the phone again. staring at the quilt): Dude. I cannot figure this out.
PIC: You'll figure it out. And it'll look great.
ME: Why are you mocking me? I am so going to ruin this whole thing.
PIC: You are not. Don't be ridiculous.
ME: You don't know. I could totally ruin all this work.
PIC: Good lord, lady.
ME: Grrrr.

My PIC is right about quite a few things in life. She is very clear that: (1) when stressed out, always consider directing the anger outward not inward ("Why suffer more?"), (2) when feeling twitchy, strongly consider using pharmaceuticals ("Why suffer more?"), and (3) when thinking you're going to ruin something, remember that you're not actually going to ruin anything ("It's crafting.").

I did, eventually, figure it out.

From each of the fabrics, I cut long strips that, when finished, would each be half the width of the strips in the main body of the quilt (finished strip widths were 2" in the blocks and 1" in the border).

And then -- riding the high of what appeared to be a border-making success -- I took that slippery orange fabric that I'd originally hated and birthed that quilt like no quilt had ever been birthed before.

And what do you know? I haven't ruined it yet.

(Please note: I still have to machine-quilt it. Still plenty of time for ruining. Er, I mean, directing my rage outward and taking some tranquilizers.)

It all adds up.

2008-02-14T19:10:00.001-08:00

I have some theories about relationships (and by some, I -- of course -- mean many). Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you, I take this relationship shit seriously. For real.

So today, on a day that's traditionally more mush than pragmatism, I'm gonna bring it: one of the ideas that I hold sacred about relationships. It's not mushy. In fact, it's the opposite of mushy. It's actually really clear. And I'm gonna illustrate my points by using sewing examples. Because I am A NERD!

So, here's something I hear people say all the time: "It was just a little thing, I don't know why we were even fighting about it. I should just let it go." And then they go on to talk themselves out of being upset about the parking spot or the remote control or the tape on the gift wrap.

I never hear anyone say: "It was just a little thing, I don't know why we were gushing over it so much or why it made us so happy," and then talk themselves out of being pleased about a smile or a thoughtful question or a made bed. Never. Happens.

There are at least two ways to make sense of this, it seems to me.

1. The obvious: Lovely things don’t capture as much attention as not-so-lovely things do. OK. Yes, people are short on time, and they have to pick and choose what they pay attention to. Sure. But noticing only the crap things? Not the smartest time-saver, frankly, what with the fighting and the bickering and the debating and what not. (The what-not? Biggest time sink ever.)

2. The not-as-obvious: The little things are meaningful. They just are. I really believe that they're kind of everything. Whether they're little things that go against our preferences and values (and therefore irritate us), or little things that make our life easier or make us feel safe or pleased (and usually go unnoticed), all those little things add up to make a relationship what it is. I mean, really, what else is there? (Yes. Sure. The big things. But how often do the big things come up really? If we're lucky, not as often as the little things, for sure, and even the big things are held together by little things.)

So, to be clear: I stand proudly in the I Will Sweat the Small Stuff, Thank You Very Much camp. And I think it's absolutely critical to sweat it all with care and love.

Which brings us to the sewing.

From the Department of All Things Duh and On-the-Nose:

In sewing, all the little (boring) things you do add up: cutting the fabric, sewing the seam allowances, pressing the seams, lining seams up with one another. Oh, the list goes on. Paying close attention and doing all those little things carefully and thoughtfully can be a slog at times. But all of it matters.

Here you'll see I cut some strips of fabric. I sewed them together, and it's a block.

Just a block of three strips sewn together. Fine. Lovely. Whatever.

But here's what never ceases to amaze me (and also does a pretty good job of illustrating my point): If you attend to all the tiny cutting/sewing/pressing details with great care and thoughtfulness, unexpectedly glorious things can happen when you step back and take a look.

Holy shit. It all adds up. Even the tiny moments where it isn't perfect, where seams didn't line up or squares aren't square, are overshadowed by the bigger picture -- a project that was obviously cared for at the level of the little things. All the saying thank you and phone calls from the grocery store and sharing a funny moment from work and the genuinely-asked how are you's? Well, when you step back and take a look, you've got yourself a lovely relationship, sir.

Here's wishing you millions of lovely little things in all your relationships!

(Consider yourself lucky you got the "little things in relationships" post, and not the one where I discuss how this

is also this

from another perspective.

I will take the romance out of anything. I tell you what.)

Oh, holy craps.

2008-02-11T15:45:00.000-08:00

So, how behind is too behind? I beg of you. Do tell.

I could just pick right up as though it hasn't been weeks since my last post. I could just jump right in. But that wouldn't be right.

I am sorry. The blogging has gotten away from me a bit.

My father is speculating that I've lost interest (not the case). My mother, I think, is still sure I've been up to something (I assure you I haven't). It's just gotten away from me. It happens, and I'm sorry.

While I've been away, two very kind people -- Rani and my beloved Ashley pointed to me as someone who makes their day, and that really means a lot to me. Really. Their kind words and appreciation served to give me a little extra push to get back on the blog horse. So, thank you for that.

As a complete aside (and maybe for some nice comic relief), while walking to my office the other day, I totally fell down. My foot didn't make it all the way onto the curb, and I just went down -- stiff as a board, down like a domino I went. I was wearing such a cute outfit, too -- stockings and heels and everything.

The crazy part about this fall is that I somehow managed to land on my hands in a push-up-style position and barely avoid a face-plant, kind of like that move that gymnasts do in their floor routines where they fall forward on purpose. I'm telling myself it looked really kick-ass and Mission Impossible with my face just missing the concrete sidewalk by an inch. (In reality, however, my shoe went flying into the street and the contents of my purse scattered all across the sidewalk, and I don't think there was anything kick-ass about it.)

The very best part, though? You know I'm a psychologist, right? Well, the very best part was when I was flat on my stomach on the sidewalk, and I heard a very concerned guy say, "Oh my God! Are you alright?", and when I looked up, it was the client I was about to see. Good times. I imagine later with his friends he was all, "Dude, my therapist totally fell flat on her face today right before our session. I went over to make sure she was OK, and then I asked her how her trip was. It was hilarious. She totally looked all Mission Impossible, though, the way she hit the ground. Real athletic, yet graceful. She's a superhero."

What? He prolly said exactly that.

I've missed you. I'll try to be better.

I woulda posted about all my crafty items

2008-01-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

...but I've been playing this pretty much non-stop since my Sidekick bought it for us a few days ago.

If it's any consolation, I am quite crafty while rocking out.

[Insert kick-ass guitar riff and ferocious big finish here.]

Pincushion

2008-01-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

You know how when you haven't seen a friend in a long while and lots of things have happened in your life that you want to share, but there are so many things that it's actually kind of paralyzing, so you procrastinate and never make plans with the friend because it's too overwhelming, even though you want to see them and share the stuff real bad?

No?

That's just me?

OK. So be it.

I think my delays in posting are related to how many finished items I'd like to share, and I also want to tell you about my fancy sewing machine. And. And. And. I haven't posted.

So, in the interest of keeping things moving, I'm gonna go with simplicity. (I've gotta start somewhere.)

I made a pincushion.

It's made of small scrapules of fabric.

It has embroidery floss wrapped around it.

It isn't as poofy as the pattern recommended.

I refrained from over-stuffing because, in the photo in the book, it looked like the pincushion was literally bursting at the seams. (My PIC and I couldn't figure out why a photo showing those flaws would make the final draft of a book. But what do we know? Do we have a book out? No. Well then. I should just shut it. ...Do you hear that? It's me. Shutting it.)

Pattern: Kelly's Pincushion. From Last-Minute Patchwork + Quilted Gifts.
Fabrics: Broadcloth-weight fabrics (again, to help minimize the chances of seam-bursting).
Floss: DMC embroidery floss in some crimson color.
Pins: Clover Flower Head Straight Pins.
Sewing machine: Waffle-maker 3000.

I think we've taken a nice first step here, people. I'm optimistic. Creaky and slow-moving, but optimistic.

Oh my goodness.

2008-01-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

"Are you OK?"
I'm talking to my dad on the phone, and he sounds very concerned.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"
"You haven't had any blogs all week!"
"Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to post..."
"We were just wondering what happened."
"I've taken pictures of stuff, I just haven't managed to post them."
"Well, I'm glad you're OK."

Later that same afternoon, my mom calls me.
"Is everything OK?" she asks. She's quite serious.
"Yes. Why?"
"I kept checking your blog, and you didn't put anything new on it. We got really worried." (She obviously hadn't checked in with my dad.)
"I'm sorry. I'll be sure to get something up."
"We were just worried."

How sweet are they? And who knew the blog was such a useful measure of my well-being? At a minimum, I suppose, my posting lets them know I haven't fallen into a big hole somewhere.

Sorry for the delay in posting. I offer you my most humble apologies and -- for no reason other than it might distract you from any bad feelings -- this photo of my parents' grandpuppy (aka my sweet and wise doggie).

(Photos of handmade items to follow soon.)

Bedwarmers

2008-01-04T13:20:00.000-08:00

So, my back went out on Day 2 of the family visit this year. And not just let-me-take-some-Advil-and-we'll-be-good out. But boo-hoo-you're-gonna-have-to-put-my-socks-on-for-me out. And also things-were-kinda-improving-until-I-sneezed why-did-I-get-so-cocky out.

Ok. Fine. It is what it is. Lucky for me, I have a loving family who is not only understanding but is also insistent on comfort at all times. This is truly a blessing. (Hydrocodone is also a blessing. It won't rub your back and tell you it loves you, but it will quite willingly take the edge off.)

I was of many minds about the whole thing. I took it as a sign that I needed to slow down and as a reminder of the importance of flexibility (both literal and figurative). I was reminded that stress will sneak up on you whether you like it or not. And I also remembered that it's hard to stay fully engaged when you're in pain/on painkillers, even if you're really wanting to be engaged.

We were all handed an exercise in balance because of it, and I think we fared just fine.

One of the hilarious parts of the ordeal was that, in the midst of this fuzzy-brained, stabby-backed situation, I decided it would be a good idea to go buy a sewing machine.

What? Why not? I'll tell you why not. Because fully medicated, I was easily persuaded by the aforementioned loving and understanding people to accept a gift of one of the fanciest sewing machines in the world.

That whole excursion is worthy of its own post, and its own post it shall get.

What I really wanted you to see were the rest of the bedwarmers. (The Rest of the Bedwarmers is also a lovely modern dance I've choreographed and will be performing once my back is all better -- the dance has lots of bendy parts.)

This one was for my SIL and brother. I made it well before Christmas, using the old machine.

My SIL and brother loved it so much, we agreed they needed a second one.

So, my SIL and I went through all of my fabrics and made this one together. We used the new sewing machine/super-computer/waffle-maker. (As I mentioned, I'm convinced my new machine is so fancy, it must also make waffles.)

Those bears kill me. Particularly because they're in the woods.

I'd like to give myself credit for the improvement in the sewing of the piping, but I'm afraid I have to credit the waffle-maker. In fact, I have a sneaking feeling I'm well on my way to complete obsolescence because of the machine. That's OK. I'm pretty sure it isn't very funny. And, as far as I can tell, its fabric selection skills are weak. Weak!

Pattern: Bedwarmer. By Ashley Shannon.
Fabrics: Some deliciousness from Superbuzzy that was on sale back in August.
Piping: Wrights Maxi Piping (Mocha 765 and Olive 590) bought at my local fabric store.
Sewing machine: Waffle Maker 3000.

Post-frenzy reveals

2008-01-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

Remember when I sewed piping?

This is what it was for:

Please disregard the unfinished edges. They were totally finished when I gave this gift.

A bedwarmer for my mom - pattern brilliantly designed by Ashley. (Free pattern is here.) It's such a great invention. You heat up the little rice pillow inside, put the pillow in the cover, and put the whole toasty mess at your feet (or on your neck or head or wherever, really). Toasty and cute!

Here is the little rice pillow:

And another close-up of (my first attempt at) piping:

Not bad!

I went on to make two more bedwarmers that I will show you later. Just so you know, the fabric may very well be too much for you to handle. Consider yourself warned.

Other warnings/A peek at some information I plan on sharing with you:

My back goes out more than I do.
I was gifted a sewing machine that might also make waffles.
If I hear one more conversation on my phone line that isn't the one I am having, I may give up on telephone technology altogether and rely solely on the Pony Express.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Let the frenzy begin

2007-12-22T20:38:00.000-08:00

Off to celebrate a long Christmas holiday... will be back with stories and photos and tons of love once the holidays have passed.

Wishing you peace and joy and lots of delicious things!
Dr. B.

My new friend - Polar Fleece

2007-12-21T12:50:00.000-08:00

Like all you crafters out there, I have lofty dreams of giving handmade gifts to my loved ones for Christmas. And like many of you, I ended up needing to make one particular thing quickly and last-minute-ish for an 11 year-old niece. So, rather than knitting a hat, I sewed one out of my new friend, Polar Fleece.

The joke was kind of on me, though, in that it took me longer to cut and sew this (and the scarf I then decided I needed to make) than it would've taken to knit something. Aw, who cares? I made a new friend!

Pattern: Martha Stewart fleece hat. Pattern can be found here.

Fabric: Two colors of polar fleece. I bought 1/2 yard of each color, and that was enough for this child's size hat, the scarf below, and probably a whole other hat.

Crazy important thread tip: Use heavy-duty thread on the top only, and regular thread in the bobbin. Martha won't tell you to do that. But the very nice and helpful lady at the fabric store will. "If you use the heavy-duty on both," she said, "you're going to have a big mess." I used Gutermann 100% Polyester thread in color 257 - dark blue, and was grateful every step of the non-mess way for that nice lady.

Sewing needle: Size 18 for heavy-duty fabrics. The bulk of the fleece -- despite it being quite light and fluffy -- requires some heavy-duty tools apparently.

Mods:

(1) I embroidered a snowflake on it. I used 3 strands of DMC embroidery floss in light blue and free-handed it. It's just some backstitching and french knots.

(2) Instead of seaming the hat so that the front is 2 panels of color next to each other, I sewed it so that the light blue panels wrap around the sides, like this:

Then I figured that a hat alone might be a lame present, and I had lots of leftover fleece. So I made a matching scarf. (It looks quite grey in the photo, but it's the same fabric. It matches in real life.)

For what it's worth, here's the info on sewing the scarf:

Two-toned scarf "pattern": my own.

Specs: Finished scarf measures approx. 42 inches x 5 inches.

If I were really adept at this sewing thing, I could've done this very quickly, cutting two long strips (each one measuring 42.5" x 5.5") then sewing them together. I am not, however, adept at this sewing thing, so I pieced the strips. Whatever.

All you should know is: embroider the snowflake first, then sew the scarf -- right sides together-- leaving about a 3-inch opening on one side to turn it right-side out again. Again, I used heavy-duty thread in the top only, and regular thread in the bobbin. No problems there!

After turning the scarf right-side out, I blind-stitched the opening closed. I knew the next step would be to top-stitch around the scarf about 1/4" away from the edge, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so sleepy.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful experiment. Not as speedy as it could've been (or as it would be for you, probably), but good nonetheless.

Now. Let the gift-wrapping commence!

So we meet again

2007-12-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I was watching an episode of my beloved Martha Stewart Crafts show, and I saw a polar fleece hat that I thought would be perfect as a last-minute gift. Only downside? No polar fleece in the house.

Cut to: Me at my local fabric store this morning. I was wandering around the notions section, no doubt muttering to myself, when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the owner of the LYS I broke up with recently. She was rifling through some remnants and holding them up to a piece of knitting she had with her. I thought carefully but quickly about how to proceed, given our past, and did what any ethical and righteous person would do in that situation: I turned down an aisle so she couldn't see me.

As I was choosing my thread, I thought about how I would come home to my Sidekick and be all, "I just saw the owner of my ex-LYS at the fabric store. Weird, right?"

Yeah. Well. No such luck.

After I'd gathered all the supplies I was going to need for this project, I went to get in line. And there she was again. Right in front of me. Paying for whatever nonsense she was buying.

Play it cool. Maybe she won't see you. Or maybe if she does see you, she won't recognize you.

Again. Not today's luck.

OWNER (catching my eye): Oh, hey!
ME: Hi!
OWNER: What are you making?

You should say socks. Just say socks. It would be hilarious. Do it.

ME: A hat.
OWNER: Oh!
ME: Just a quick gift for a little girl.
OWNER: It's that time of year.

I then, for some unknown reason, just started going on about how quick this project looks and how good ole Martha Stewart will get you out of a scrape every time. I don't know why. I'm from Texas. They teach you to be polite.

OWNER: Are you watching her new crafting show?
ME: Yeah, that's actually where I got the pattern for this hat.
OWNER: Really!
ME: Yep.

Ask her about the "For Rent" sign you saw in her store window recently. It'll make her real uncomfortable. And then she'll have to explain how being rude and condescending drove her out of business.

OWNER: Well if I don't see you beforehand, have a wonderful holiday.

She said this with a big smile. And she seemed kind of sincere and human.

ME: You too.

'Tis the season. Peace on earth and all that.

(And also, I only saw the sign once and then didn't see it again. So. It's not so much that I'm spreading peace and joy, really. In all fairness. It's more that I didn't want to start trouble. And that's ok. 'Tis the season to not start trouble. Fa la la la la, la la, la. La!)

I am so winning this race.

2007-12-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Slow and steady, people.

Slow. And steady.

Since my iron has now taken to auditioning non-stop for the part of The Shower Head in the big holiday appliance show, these placemats are crinkly -- but dry -- for the moment. Once the iron realizes it doesn't have a shot in hell of getting that part, I will soothe its broken soul by reuniting it with some spray starch, and the two of them will make my mats crisp and lovely.

Damn that holiday appliance show.

Things that slow you down

2007-12-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

(The title of this post reminds me of that 20,000-Dollar Pyramid game show from the '70s. I imagine it said as a category. FYI)

(1) An iron that is suddenly leaking out of the bottom. Imagine going to the ironing board, carefully pressing a seam, then pouring a glass of water on it. That's what it's like.

(2) Hand-quilting placemats. I know I said I was going to machine-quilt them. I chickened out. But I'll tell you, this wouldn't be so slow if I weren't compelled to be

(3) Stopping after every line of stitching to closely inspect my work. I'm a troubled individual.

(4) Caramel corn.

(5) A sewing machine that's missing the table extension. This is my secret shame. I use a borrowed sewing machine, and I lost the little table part, so all I have is a small area around the needle as the flat surface. Unless I use a stack of books. And the stack of books can only do so much. (Anyone like to recommend a sewing machine?) This foolishness is wearing thin, and slowing me way down.

(6) A literal pain in my neck from doing some sit-ups earlier. Lesson learned.

Maybe tomorrow will be speedier. It's supposed to rain like crazy tomorrow, and we'll see what that does to my productivity. Since Torrential Downpour/Drenchfest '07 has already started right here on my ironing board, I'm imagining I'm all set.

Learn something new every day

2007-12-03T09:55:00.000-08:00

I totally sewed piping.

The details might just be too glorious, nay, too exciting for you. Reading them might cause such a state of euphoria as to render you useless in your day-to-day goings-on. And I care for you and your goings, so no details. (This is also a part of a holiday gift, so that little peek is all you're getting for now.)

However. Allow me to reiterate: I totally sewed piping.

Also, thank you SO much for all your tips and comments on the placemats. Every bit of your experience, advice, and support really helped! (It was touch and go there for a minute.) It seems only fair that you should get to see what the tops look like in the sunlight:

These are much more representative of how they look than the last set of shots.

I've purchased the backing fabric (from a dude who was so complimentary about my work that I felt like I was being grifted), and I should finish these pretty soon. I'm gonna use a different thread in the bobbin than on the top, and never having done that before, I'm looking forward to some boo-hooing about that in the process -- e..g., "Boo hoo, how come this looks like crap? Boo hoo, what was I thinking? Boo hoo. Boo hoo. Oh, boo."

Won't that be awesome?

Learning new stuff. I'm all for it!

Eleanor Burns would be truly disappointed.

2007-11-30T12:26:00.000-08:00

It takes a special kind of genius to figure out the quickest and most effective way to make something. Eleanor Burns is exactly that kind of genius.

I am not.

Eleanor has a show called Quilt in a Day. I -- when all goes according to plan -- will have a show called Think It Out, wherein I will walk viewers through the process of not using the internet, not using pattern books, and using the longest way around there is to make some everyday item. And everyone will love that show. Or they will say they love that show because everyone will know that if you watch Think It Out, you are obviously someone who likes to use your brain until it throbs right out of your skull. And everyone knows that's cool.

Let me give you a little sample of what I'm talking about.

I decided I wanted to make some (four) placemats as a gift for a friend's 40th birthday. In my shoes, Eleanor Burns would simply pull out her trusty placemat pattern and get to sewing. An hour later, she'd be finished and having a cocktail.

Not me!

I looked through my fabrics and decided I'd like a motif in the middle of my mat -- a motif that I'd have to somehow extract from other designs in the (rather expensive Japanese) fabric. Fine. I know from watching my shows that that's called "fussy cutting", and those ladies do it all the time.

I eyeballed the space around the motif and cut it out, trying to leave as much of the surrounding fabric intact as possible.

Then, I pulled out a placemat that I own, traced around it for size onto a piece of tissue paper, and cut that out. I then proceeded to sketch a log cabin pattern on it by placing the cutout motif in the center, then just eyeballing the rest of it. I wanted the design to look somewhat irregular but not jacked up, so I figured this was the best way to achieve this. Then I measured.

Two things you should know here: (1) I did remember I needed to add 0.5 inches to each dimension for the seam allowances. Bullet dodged. Good one, me. I even made a spreadsheet with the correct measurements to make sure I wouldn't blow it later. (2) I have a very strange talent apparently, in that when I eyeball something, it happens to be exact measurements. I didn't really know that before, so that was weird to discover.

[Program note: I'm realizing Think It Out may not be able to cover one project per show. This might present a challenge in selling it to the networks. But whatevs.]

Let's skip ahead:

On different tissue paper, I made a pattern for each strip. For directional fabric, I marked the pattern with orienting lines. (Oh, I tried figuring it out without those lines first. Yeah. Because I'm thinking here! Right.)

Eleanor isn't scared by directional fabric. I am. But that didn't stop me from using it, and using it in the most difficult way possible.

There were SO many steps in here, it was ridiculous. I'll spare you and just tell you that here's what I've got so far:

The outer white edge is batting, not part of the top. (The photos are bad today because of weather that includes much-needed rain here in SoCal.)

OK. Now. I think on my show there's going to be a section where I ask the audience for advice. But only after I'm very much committed and possibly in over my head.

So that's this part here, and it involves the finishing of these mats. Ready? OK.

I was planning on machine-quilting these, you know, so they're like little quilts.

(1) Is cotton batting ok for the middle layer, or should I use interfacing or something else instead?
(2) Can I stitch in the ditch, or will that look bad/dumb/annoying? Can I use off-white thread?
(3) Should I make a binding to go around the edge, or should I just take another fabric for the back, sew right sides together, and turn it inside out -- no binding?

And finally,
(4) Have I made a terrible mistake?

I thank you for your input and kind consideration in this matter.

Items! Part Two.

2007-11-29T11:57:00.000-08:00

Our trip to the East Coast for Thanksgiving was really great. The food was incredibly delicious, the weather was real weather-y, and some of my knitted garments got to do what they were put on this earth to do -- keep my tender neck warm.

The trip also entailed a serious appreciation of the out-of-this-world-ness of the shops in Brooklyn. They have cornered the market on cute and righteous, I tell you what. Hip clothing, beads, cheese, wine, baby stuff, books -- all distinct stores that are there simply to crush you. The worst offender, in my humble opinion? The Brooklyn General Store.

Man oh man, people. This store.

Do you ever have the experience of walking into a place and not being able to see anything because everything is just so compelling? Yarns. Fabrics. Quilts on display. Dark hardwood floors and cute styling everywhere you turn. I mean, seriously. It was too much. It was absolutely too much holy shit! all in one place.

So, get a load of this fabric. It's flannel.

Flannel! What will they think of next?

I was so overcome with dizzying confusion that all I could do was buy this flannel and a couple of skeins of Misti Alpaca and get the hell out of there. (As they say: If you'd have been there. If you'd have seen it. I bet you you would have done the same.)

My trip into the city to Purl? A horse of a slightly different color. Still overwhelming. Still hard to see everything. But I'd been there before, so I knew what to expect: light-headedness, lack of oxygen to the brain, drooling. All the signs you know you're in a good fabric store and/or having a medical emergency.

I'll tell you more about Purl at another time. For now let's just gaze upon two fabrics I bought -- buns and birds.

Bun.
Bun.

Buns!

And birds.

Motherfucking birds.

No idea what this is for. But I can't find enough expletives to capture how passionately I feel about this fabric.

Thanksgiving: If you come home cursing like a sailor, you know you did it right.

Great minds

2007-11-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

I got a phone call from my wasband a minute ago.

WASBAND: Have you seen boingboing today?
ME: No. Why.
WASBAND: Someone made a Darth Vader tea towel.
ME: No way.
WASBAND: Can you believe that?!

He was outraged.

ME: Was it embroidered?
WASBAND: Yes!
ME: It's probably bad manners to leave a comment and be all, "I made an R2D2 tea towel a long time ago."
WASBAND: "Check the date on it!" Yours was in color and way more detailed.
ME: Yeah, well. It was your idea to begin with.
WASBAND: Still!

Take-home lesson? There are only so many ideas a person can have, and embroidering Star Wars characters on tea towels is one of them. Now we know. Weird, huh?

Items! Part One.

2007-11-27T20:45:00.000-08:00

I made a scarf while I was on vacation.

There. I said it.

Look. It was a whole thing. My SIL had something to do with it. The Brooklyn General Store and Purl also had things to do with it. But you know what? Let's not get caught up in assigning blame. It's not ladylike and just gets us nowhere. Instead, let's gaze upon the wonder that is the scarf.

Doesn't that stitch look good?

It is purty.

Pattern: My So Called Scarf. (That link is to the free pattern.)
Yarn: Manos del Uruguay. Handcrafted Kettle Dyed Pure Wool. Color 118.
Needles: Lantern Moon. US size 15.
Mods: I used honkin' big needles. The pattern calls for 11s, I think. But the 15s were all I had with me, and I wanted to make the scarf while I was still with my SIL to make sure she'd really like it. Blah, blah, blah. She and I both agree we like how it looks. And I like that it knit up real fast.

There are worse things than buying two skeins of new yarn and knitting a brand new scarf. Really. So much worse. Maybe I'll convince my brother to let me tell you the Crap or Vomit story. It's a good one. And it will take some of the heat off of me and and my item-y ways.

Fingers crossed.

I am glad to be back!

Woo Hoo! haiku

2007-11-26T08:40:00.000-08:00

Back from the East Coast.
Quite pleased with myself for sure.
(So much warmer here.)

Do you like items?
Soft yarns? Fabrics? A new scarf?
Photos tomorrow!

Must catch up on blogs.
Must create lists, set deadlines.
Oh! Must not lose mind.

An apology, an admission, and an invitation

2007-11-15T22:00:00.001-08:00

Apology: So sorry it's been so long since my last post!

Admission: I went back into that store. OK. Sure. Yes. I vowed to never set foot in there again, but it seemed foolish to stand on ceremony when my PIC needed some yarn to finish a project, and we were right there! Good news for me -- there were no familiar faces, we were in and out of there in exactly three minutes, and nothing was purchased. Bad news for my PIC -- nothing was purchased. While they didn't have what she needed, I did manage to spy some Manos that I am going to buy elsewhere. Ha HA! See there! Elsewhere! I also saw some little cupcake pincushions that were super cute, but they were not thirty-two dollars cute, and that's what those bitches were selling for. Nope. Thank you kindly, but hell nope.

Invitation: My sidekick and I are going away for the week of Thanksgiving, starting tomorrow. While we're gone, I want you to have things to read (or re-read), and it just so happens that there is one "eavesdropping" post for each day I'm away. Isn't that handy? If it so pleases you, come on back each day for a little trip down memory lane. I've made a little schedule just for you. (Don't let this limit you. Please. Feel free to wander about as well.)

Friday: None of my beeswax
Saturday: These are the people in my neighborhood
Sunday: How the week went from Whee! to Meh. back to Whee! again
Monday: That eavesdropping from the other night
Tuesday: Overheard at the fancy supermarket
Wednesday: Overheard at Crate and Barrel
Thursday: Our trip to the so-called craft store
Friday: Overheard at lunch today

I will check in from time to time, as I am able. I may also have some kind of haul when I return, if history repeats itself.

Please know that this Thanksgiving, I am truly grateful for each of you.

Peace and love,
Dr. B.

He might need glasses.

2007-11-10T10:30:00.001-08:00

I walked into my living room the other day, and this is what I saw:

I think he couldn't believe his eyes when he saw his three favorite things -- comedy, outdated lists, and and a book on animal rights -- right next to his bed. What are the chances?!

I didn't wait around to see what he chose. In addition to being an avid reader, he's also a dog who likes his privacy. So, even though I left him alone and can't confirm it, I'm betting he went with the comedy.

Ooo ooo, Kushu Kushu.

2007-11-08T12:50:00.000-08:00

My Habu kit finally arrived. I'd ordered it months ago from a trunk show at a lovely yarn shop across town.

These strings will turn into the Kushu Kushu scarf, if all goes according to plan.

A-20-16 lavender color (it's a warmer, dustier purple than it appears here). Silk. Well, silk with a stainless steel core. This will be the ends of the scarf.

A177-29 coffee color. Super fine merino wool. This, together with the lavender, will be the middle section of the scarf.

There are other things at the top of the to-be-made queue, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm also a little nervous about knitting with steel. So it remains to be seen when exactly this will get going.

In the meantime, I like the idea of this scarf having its own cheer - "Ooo! Ooo! Kushu Kushu! Ooo ooo! Kushu Kushu!" Who's with me on that?

Burnt hands can't craft.

2007-11-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

ME (to my Sidekick this morning): So, how about those eggs you were gonna make us?
SIDEKICK: Ohhhh! I forgot I was gonna make eggs!
ME: Grrr. Me starving.
SIDEKICK: How about I make it up to you with a grande decaf vanilla soy latte?
ME: Ok.

A few minutes later, my Sidekick returns with hot beverages.

ME: Aw. Thanks!
SIDEKICK: You're welcome.
ME (picking up cup): Owee. That's hot. You didn't bring a little cuff thingie?
SIDEKICK: What? No. I didn't. Sorry.
ME: But it's real hot. How am I gonna drink my delicious hot beverage if I can't pick it up?
SIDEKICK (rolls his eyes, shakes his head, laughs a little)
ME: Maybe there's an old one in the recycling.

I look through the recycling. Nothing.

ME: I guess I'll just have to fashion my own cuff thingie.

I begin the process of fashioning my own cuff thingie. It involves scissors and tape.

SIDEKICK (watching me): You weirdo, just use a paper towel for it.
ME (still fashioning): Why do you hate the earth so much? I'm recycling!

Twenty-five seconds later, I've completed my masterpiece.

ME: All done.
SIDEKICK: Oh my God, it's great!
ME: Thanks!
SIDEKICK: You should take a picture of it.
ME: That's silly.
SIDEKICK: Take a picture of it for the blog!
ME: You kill me.
SIDEKICK: Do it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this morning with my Sidekick.

Aaaaand, scene.

Finished for real

2007-11-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

There's a part of the movie Grey Gardens that lives on in our household. It's calling whatever you're wearing "the costume for today". If you haven't seen the movie, it's a documentary, and I recommend it if you're into strange and crazy people from 1975. (There was also a musical of it, I guess?) But more to the point, one of the main characters in the movie gets dressed one morning, and in evaluating its merits, she says:

This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today. (quote from imdb)

Not only do I completely agree with Little Edie that you should -- at all times -- be wearing a garment that can at any moment be converted into a cape, I also agree that you should always think carefully about what the best costume for the day might be. It was in this spirit that I blocked the green Chevron Scarf.

Last night, as I was preparing to go out to a nice, casual dinner with my Sidekick, I noticed that my costume was green and brown and missing something. I then noticed my Chevron scarf wadded up on a chair (this seems to be what I do with things I make). When I picked the scarf up to consider wearing it, it folded itself into thirds immediately, revealing itself to be an unwearable flat tube.

I stared at it. I thought about it. Then, knowing the scarf was necessary if I wanted to be wearing the best costume for today, I grabbed a damp towel and my iron, and blocked my scarf.

My PIC, who finished her Chevron Scarf long before I finished mine, warned me that "it's still gonna want to fold into thirds after you iron it, but you can just do it again later." She's right. And I might do it again later, but I can't be sure.

What I do know is this: With even the wrong side looking good,

this scarf was just what I needed for the best costume for last night. (Well, I could've worn a skirt-cape, but I didn't want to make other people at the restaurant feel bad for having inferior costumes. I'm sensitive like that.)

Longer, wider, faster

2007-11-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Last time you checked around a week ago, I'd started a second Chevron Scarf. Here's what I had then:

Considering my first one took 6 months, I'm impressed at how quickly (relatively speaking) this one is going. This is what I have now:

Long, right?

The colors are much more beautiful than these photos show. You'll see.

This one also seems a little wider than my first, but that's not important. So let's just move on.

Hey! Thank you so much for your input on what to make with the Chinese yarn! Your ideas were all so good and helpful! What would I do without you?! Really.

I like the idea of making something for my sweet friend, as many of you suggested. If I went with socks, I'd definitely have to double the yarn or add some other kind of thread to it, because it seems like they'd wear through in about three seconds otherwise.

But. If I were to go in a shawl/wrap direction (not for my sweet friend), I love the Hanami shawl that Kristy suggested. There's also a little wrap in Weekend Knitting. (Can I sub this Chinese yarn for mohair, do you think, or no?) I'm a little worried that I may have to give in and get that Folk Shawls book you're all going on about. Damn it! Don't you know I'm drowning in books over here? Sheesh.

Thank goodness Seth kindly reminded me that books are free at my local li-berry. (He also had the brilliant idea of incorporating Chinese knitting designs into the project. He is all good ideas, that Seth.)

Note to self: When at said library, look for Knitting For Peace. It has the pattern for the Swirl Hat that Kim went and made in her obvious attempt to destroy me, rather, to help me with ideas for my holiday knitting.

Oh, what do you know, my new issue of Interweave Knits just arrived. Gotta go!

Yangrongxinshengwuzhenzhirong: The Challenge

2007-10-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

For a lot of this past year, a sweet friend of mine was out of town for work.

That seems like a perfectly benign sentence, right? You probably didn't make much of it, I'd guess. Well, let me translate it for you and see if you feel differently:

A lot of this past year = 7 months straight
Out of town = in China
Sweet friend = guy who has 12 people over for a birthday dinner, insists that no one bring him gifts, and instead gives every guest a beautifully gift-wrapped present chosen specifically for them. From China.

Small but important aside: Amazing how a simple sentence about a friend and his work can be so rich with meaning. It's stunning to think about how often people say things where there's a whole story quietly waiting to be known, and we just keep on truckin' past it because we're busy, or we think we know what they mean, or we don't even notice that there might be more to it.

But gifts! There were gifts! Let's talk about the gifts! Yes, yes. Gifts!

In the presentation of each of the gifts, my friend provided a thoughtful comment about why the items were selected. Lovely jewelry for some, tea and books for others. Some people were given painted items along with a little verbal warning about possible lead content. Some were given t-shirts and were cautioned that there would be certain shrinkage and lack of steadfastness of the dye. ("It is China," he reminded us.) My gift came not with a warning, but with a challenge.

"I don't know anything about knitting," he said, "but I'm imagining this could be difficult. So, I challenge you to make something out of this."

Super soft.

Lace or fingering weight.

Yarn like cashmere. Only we don't actually know what it is -- the only thing I can read on the label is the name of this post. (Well, it doesn't say "The Challenge" on the label. You know what I mean.) My friend said something like, "It's such thin string, I figured it had to be difficult to knit with."

So I will ask you explicitly -- so there's no confusion-- what should I make with these 11 balls of very fine Chinese yarn? We've got a challenge here, people. What say you?!

Hair of the dog

2007-10-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

Blue Moon Fiber Arts. Socks That Rock yarn Medium weight. Little Bunny Foo Foo color.

Blue Moon Fiber Arts. Socks That Rock yarn Medium weight. Rose Quartz color.

Um.

What can I tell you? I started another Chevron Scarf. Laugh all you want at my foolishness, but if you'd had these yarns in your stash, you would've done the same thing. I assure you.

P.S. On a more serious note, we are sending all kinds of good thoughts and prayers to the people and animals affected by the fires here in Southern California. My loved ones and I are safe and sound, luckily nowhere near the current danger. We're all just hoping it gets better soon.

Let's just say it's finished. For OFTI's sake.

2007-10-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

What's that? You thought I'd never finish the Chevron Scarf?

Me either, frankly.

But I did! Well, I mostly did.

It just needs to be blocked.

Funny. The moment I started thinking about blocking, the whole thing kinda went dark. Huh.

Pattern: Chevron Scarf from Last Minute Knitted Gifts.

Yarn: Colinette Jitterbug in Velvet Leaf and Castagna - 1 hank of each. I followed my PIC's lead on this one and just stopped once the yarn ran out. No measuring. Just "that looks fine"-ing.

Needles: Addi Turbos (Ha ha, hilarious. Imagine if I hadn't used the "turbos" how long it would've taken me) US size 5.

Modifications: I did not, as the pattern suggested, make it "at the last minute". Unless minutes are now measured in 6-month increments. If so, then I suppose I didn't make any modifications to this pattern, as it took me 6 months to complete this scarf.

Measurements: Without having blocked it and without stretching it at all, this scarf is 35"+35"+7". Why 35 plus 35 plus 7? Because I just measured it using my big quilting grid/mat thingie which only goes up to 35". Imagine my surprise when I added it up and it's just 1/2" short of what the pattern calls for! That half inch will surely appear once I get to blocking. Good one, me!

What do you think the chances are that I'll block it? I'd like to think good. After six months and all this gritching, I'd like to say there's a good chance I'll block this scarf. Although this would suggest otherwise. So it's hard to know, people. Hard to know.

Here's that green beanie.

2007-10-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

By popular request, a drawing of the beanie:Pretty amazing. So life-like. So real this drawing, no? With about 3 minutes you too could draw such a beanie. I know it's hard to believe. But it's true.

With a few hours, you could knit the beanie.

The color is darker and more olive than that photo suggests. It's more like the leftover yarn below:

Pattern: Basic Hat -- free pattern from Stitch Cafe.

Yarn: Suss Love (100% Tactel Nylon) in Olive color. Each hank is about 126 yards, and I used a little more than one hank. This yarn is crazy, crazy soft. From Suss.

Mods: I cast on 68 instead of 66, and did a 2x2 rib instead of a 3x3. Oh! And I held two strands together which made the hat heftier.

The top is one of those where you draw the yarn through the stitches and pull it tight -- like a drawstring -- to close it up.

That method usually leaves a hole in the top for me. But somehow it worked out fine here. However, the method apparently also turned the hat from olive green to charcoal grey (or so the photo would have you believe). So be careful with that.

I am hoping the softness will bring comfort and warmth to the young guy who's receiving it. The son of a dear colleague and friend, this guy is just starting on a long road of chemo. As you all know, a hat isn't much, but it can make a difference.

The other thing this hat can do? Jump-start Operation Finish Those Items (OFTI). Right? Why not? Because I never finish anything, you say? Did you see the hat I just finished? Doesn't that tell you something?! Harumph.

Of course you're right. I shouldn't get ahead of myself here. I thank you for your continued candor and support.

Peace!

I made a green beanie.

2007-10-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

It's really grey here today, so no photo. Just know I made a beanie yesterday from this free pattern from this lovely shop. The hat is very, very soft. The yarn was from Suss. And I'll tell you all about it when the sun comes out.

I'd make you a drawing, but you wouldn't want that. Really. Have you seen my "drawings"? Yeah. Ok, then. A photo later on it is!

Safety is a constant battle.

2007-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

You can never relax.

Yesterday afternoon I was sitting at my dining room table, minding my own business. And out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving on the living room floor.

"That's strange," I thought.

When I turned to look closer, I saw that it was a bee.

"How did that get in here?" You won't be surprised to know that the fact that I was alone did not stop me from asking this question out loud.

I kept watching it from a distance, and the bee just kept walking along the carpet.

This reminded me of how much I love it when I see birds walking. I find it hilarious. I always imagine the bird's inner monologue to go something like: Sure, I could fly. But I'm not in a rush. I'll just walk it.

But as I watched this bee for a bit, it became clear that things were not so chill for this little guy. He was eventually just walking in circles.

Brilliant me that I am, I figured this meant he needed to get out of here. If he had his choice between walking on some weird carpet or flying out in nature? Duh. Also, I was getting nervous that he might start flying and, in a rage or panic, start stingin'.

So I tried to get him onto a piece of cardboard. But my attempt was squeamish and, therefore, half-assed (i.e., pointing the cardboard in his general direction, getting real noodly when the bee would get near it, and finally dropping the cardboard near the bee to remind me not to step there.) The fact that my Sidekick would be home within the hour may've played a part in the weakness of my efforts. What?! My Sidekick would gladly take care of the whole thing! I am too a feminist! Come on!

I put a sticky note on the cardboard in case I somehow forgot to mention it to my Sidekick, because I didn't want him to step on the guy either.

I kept an eye on the little bee the whole time. He did some walking. He did some circling. And eventually, he was done with all of that. By the time my Sidekick came home, the little bee had done all he came here to do.

It was very sad, actually, the bee dying on my living room floor. My Sidekick very sweetly scooped the little bee remains onto the cardboard and put them outside.

"He probably had a good little life," my Sidekick said.

"Yeah. Poor little guy."

"I can't believe you made a sign that said 'bee'. That's adorable."

"I didn't want you to step on him."

"Did you take a picture of it?"

"Um. Yes?"

My Sidekick is amazing for a million reasons. He's sweet. He's humane. And he knows that with the crafting as slow as it's been around here, my taking a picture of a bee and a sign that says 'bee' is absolutely the right thing to do.

Quiltie is feeling the stress

2007-10-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

Diligence might be over-rated.

I hand-quilted two (quite giant) blocks yesterday while watching football on the TV. As a result of my rusty quilting chops, it took me the majority of the day. But! I now only have about nine giant blocks to go, out of 25 total. Not too shabby.

I won't lie. I'm proud. I'm excited. I even threw Quiltie across my bed to see if I still liked him.

And I do.

So that's good.

What's not good?

This:

See the little frayed fabric there on the left? Quiltie's coming apart at a seam. Yeah. Sad.

We've had such a rocky road, Quiltie and I, and he is prone to lashing out. But this? Really? I've been so careful with him (except for the neglect part). Coming apart at a seam. Grr.

Anyone have any ideas for a fix? Should I stick some fray check on it and make some real tiny stitches by hand to sew it back together? That's kinda all I can think of to do.

My PIC said I should just look the other way. "It never happened," she said.

My PIC is kind of a genius sometimes.

Hmm.

Hey, everybody! Great news! Quiltie's going great!!

(See what I did there? Oh, I'm good.)

Of course they did.

2007-10-06T11:25:00.001-07:00

Photo from The Purl Bee site.

This color wheel quilt is one of the many things I've been staring at real hard in the new patchwork book. I have mixed feelings about it, and they are best expressed by the following two statements:

Ashley (and I'm paraphrasing): I want that quilt, but I don't want to have to make it.

My PIC: I also want that quilt, and I want to be able to say I made it, but there's no way in hell I'm making it.

OK. Well. I can't imagine making it either, but those enablers over at Purl are messing with my mind, man!

Look at what they've done.

They've put together bundles (or "bundules" if you'd rather) of the fabrics you'd need to make this accursed quilt, and you can just buy the whole damn thing just like that.

This photo is also from The Purl Bee site, and if you click on it, you can go straight to the page where you order them. Yes, yes. You're welcome.

You might think I'm getting kickbacks from Purl, what with my unrelenting look at this Purl thing and look at that Purl item, everybody! Nope. No kickbacks. I just do it out of love. Heartbreaking, wallet-squeezing, this-is-gonna-be-the-death-of-me love.

Starting in Japanese

2007-10-03T08:45:00.000-07:00

Upon hearing that my PIC and I were planning to spend our Crafting Day sewing some little girl clothes from a Japanese pattern book, my PIC's sister had this to say to us:

"I'm sure you'll do a really good job, and that you won't even be able to tell you resorted to using staples and glue."

Believe me, if she hadn't been the one who brought us all that yarn from Argentina, my earrings and high-heels would've come off so fast, and it would've been on. How dare she imply we don't know what we're doing! Oh, I woulda fought her if it weren't for that yarn. (Please note: Dr. B. does not fight. Even in the face of a crafting affront. It has been said that Dr. B. keeps it classy, and classy it shall be kept. Oh. And, my PIC and I kinda don't know what we're doing.)

All that said, you can imagine how good it felt at the end of our Crafting Day to bask in the glory of our team effort: this staple-free, glue-absent toddler dress.

Holy shit, right? There's elastic in there and everything!

For a couple of sewing hacks like my PIC and me, our items were quite the spectacular achievement!

We also made pants!

There are some flaws that I am concealing here because I care for my PIC a great deal, and she would not be pleased if I aired her dirty, dirty sewing errors for all to see. You should just know there's some stuff in there that a weaker team would've stapled and/or glued.

In this process, we learned some things. We broke some things. We used some things we'd never used before. Mostly we realized we really should learn to sew. Because if we knew how to sew, the fact that the patterns were entirely in Japanese surely would not have been so painfully mind-bending.

You gotta give it to us, though. We will throw twelve obstacles in our own way and then gloat when we overcome them. Oh, we've got that bit down.

Getting reacquainted

2007-09-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

After months and months of being apart, Quiltie and I have decided to take it slow.

Sure, we could just jump back in and pretend nothing ever happened. We could pretend that someone didn't eat someone else's carefully-made markings, and that someone else didn't ignore the relationship for months. But that would be foolish.

It's been a while, and some of us still have tender feelings. Who would I be to tell him to move on already and stop being so stand-offish, when he can't possibly trust that I'm sticking around? A quilt's gotta protect himself from possibly getting hurt again. I understand.

But in that same spirit, Quiltie doesn't have a leg to stand on if he tries "the marking-eating incident was in the past, and you can't change the past." Not one leg, mister! While you can't change the past, you still have to attend to the fact that the past has effects on the present. I am on the lookout for any sign that he might start to eat a freshly-made marking. And I am perfectly justified to do so. So don't start with me, Quiltie. Don't even start to start with me!

We've still got some tender feelings, as I mentioned. We are going to continue to take it slow.

Overheard at lunch today

2007-09-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

My wasband and I were out at lunch today, eating delicious food and listening to the conversation behind us. (We both quite enjoy a good eavesdrop. Remind me to tell you the one about motorcycles sometime.) Anyway!

A young white dude was talking really assertively to someone across the table from him. He'd been going on for some time about himself, his career, his future plans, and in the middle of the whole thing, without missing a beat, dude says:

"Look. This is how it is. I am a songwriter-screenwriter-inventor. That's my hyphen."

My wasband and I found this particularly hilarious for about twelve reasons. Most of those reasons were related to his delivery. He said, "That's my hyphen" like everyone's got one. Like it's a given, and that's his.

The rest of the hilarious? He's a songwriter-screenwriter-inventor? Inventor of what?! What could a dude possibly be inventing in Los Angeles? I mean, come on. Really.

He went on to talk about how he needs to have his voice come through in his writing, and how he once had a dream of meeting Alan Menken and now he's having lunch with him next week, and that's how it is, man. He was that guy. (Oh! If you click on that link, the picture of Mr. Menken is SO perfect! So, so precious and so very perfect for this whole scenario! I love the internet so hard.)

Ok. So. Fine. The dude was pretty ridiculous, but he was young-ish, and whatever. It's LA.

Now is the part where I sheepishly admit that the whole "hyphen" idea stuck with us in spite of ourselves. We couldn't help it! We've kind of decided we're gonna require everyone to declare a hyphen from now on. Because everyone's got one!

I went with psychologist-crafter-blogger. We decided my wasband should go with dog lover-curmudgeon-raconteur. (While we both spontaneously said "curmudgeon", the raconteur was my idea, thank you very much.)

Hey! Should I start a "What's your hyphen" meme? No. That would be super lame.

But, you telling me your hyphen? Cool. Very, very cool. What is it?! I must know!

As a complete PS and aside: That dude would be shitting himself if he knew he'd been so promptly blogged. And by "shitting himself" I mean he'd be all, "Yeah. I invented the hyphen. So. ...Yeah."

It takes two to make a thing go right

2007-09-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

Oh, Quiltie.
Neglected for so long. Desperately needing to be re-basted and re-marked so that hand-quilting could continue.

So, so sad. Tragic, really.

Well, it was Quiltie's lucky day yesterday. It was Craft Day with my PIC!

Teamwork.

Determination.

And encouragement were the key ingredients.

My PIC and were able to do so many things yesterday that we each had been dreading.

She needed to put a new back on a quilt-in-progress. In the short term, very depressing. It meant she had to pull out hours and hours of hand-quilting; do mind-bending math; iron, measure, and cut fabric; and re-baste all the parts of the quilt sandwich together. She also had to thread the sewing machine. You can see how doing this together was superior to doing it alone. Alone? DE-moralizing. Together? Kinda fun!

Fabric FYI aside: If you're in the market for a nice solid brown (gross!) cotton, Robert Kaufman's new color Chocolate is the best brown we've found. (I tried to link to it at Purl, but looks like it's sold out; and at RK's site, the little square is so not the color.) Trust me. It's a good brown.

We did her whole thing together, then did my whole thing. She cheered me on as I re-measured and re-marked. Her "You're almost there!" and "Just one more!" really made the difference.

The Sweet, Salty, and Nutty Trek Mix didn't hurt either.

Still stumped

2007-09-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

Crafting Day tomorrow with my PIC should help, but I gotta tell you, this creative paralysis steeeeenks. What gives?

Someday I shall tell you of my experience seeing the Yarn Harlot. Some other day I will gush about super cool people on the internet. And, I can only hold out hope that another day -- one day soon, maybe even tomorrow -- I will regale you with tales of crafting debacles.

For now, I hope it's ok that all I've got for you is a manicure I keep jacking up. I just paid perfectly good money to have someone paint my nails, apparently for the sole purpose of helping me find every sharp edge and fuzzy fuzzball that exists in my world. Yeah. Money well-spent. I know. I know.

Sewing tips from Dr. B. and my PIC

2007-09-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm walking to get a haircut, and I call my partner-in-(crafting) crime on my cell phone. She kicks off the conversation with a serious...

PIC: Guess what I'm doing.
Me: Cleaning out your closet.
PIC: Nope.
Me: Sweeping up dog hair.
PIC: Nope.
Me: Picking up poop.
PIC: These are all things I do quite a bit. But they are not what I am doing right now. Right now, I am about to cut out a pattern!

My PIC and I have decided we are going to sew baby dresses out of the Japanese book I gave her for her birthday. As you know, My PIC and I decide we are going to do lots of things, regardless of whether or not we're qualified to do them. We are generally successful using the winning combination of tips that I sort of remember from somewhere and the "let's just do it" that she tends to live by.

PIC: How should I decide what size to make? Should I just make the middle one?
Me: I would go pull out a little dress that is about the size you want, and lay it on the options, and see which one's closest.
PIC: Hm. That's smart.
Me: And then trace that size onto the dressmaker's paper so you don't cut up the original pattern.
PIC: Right.

Blah, blah, blah. We move on to a conversation about haircuts. But then I remember!

Me: Oh! You should trace the size you want on the original pattern with a Sharpie so you can see it better through the paper.
PIC: Yeah. I'm not gonna do that.
Me: But it might get confusing as you're going--
PIC: Well, yes. It might.
Me: You're already tracing, aren't you?
PIC: Yes.
Me: So it's too late to suggest taping everything down so it won't move?
PIC: Too late!

We talk a bit more about other random things.

PIC: Tracing a straight line is hard. I wish I could use a ruler.
Me: That's probably where that tape coulda helped you.
PIC: Shut it.

I arrive at the haircutting place and have to hang up, but when I call my PIC later, she has great news.

PIC: I have traced three patterns!
Me: That's awesome!
PIC: And I have some tips.
Me: Really?
PIC: Yes, I do. They don't tell you in the instructions that it's pretty much impossible to trace a straight line if you've just had a cup of coffee.
Me: Right.
PIC: It is truly impossible. Your hand shakes too much. But I discovered that if you have a glass of wine, that solves the problem immediately!
Me: Those are very good tips!
PIC: Yes. They will be the cornerstone of the book I write about sewing.
Me: That's gonna be a really good book.
PIC: Yeah. I know.

Since my PIC still has to read the instructions every time she threads her sewing machine, I have a feeling her book on sewing isn't going to be available any time soon. That being said, I'm happy to share the gems we come up with as we go. You know. For those of you who prefer your tips on the obvious side.

Good problems to have

2007-09-20T12:10:00.000-07:00

I've been buried under crafts.

Wait. That's not true. I haven't been buried under crafts. I've been paralyzed by the possibilities for crafting.

I'm afraid all of my stockpiling has created an overwhelming sense of confusion about what to do next.

As a response to this confusion, I've been doing what any person would do: I've been wandering around my house somewhat aimlessly, petting my fabrics...

... staring at my unfinished embroidery...

... and drooling on my books. Well, mostly just still drooling on this one:

If I'm honest, it makes me want to start a new Chevron scarf. (What?!)

Enough is enough, people! No more acquiring! No more starting something new! I'm using what I have and finishing what I start! Gosh!!

Crap. I just remembered I have a Habu Kusha Kusha kit on its way to me.

Starting after that! No more nonsense! NO! MORE!

Stocking up for winter

2007-09-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's true. I am currently gathering all the goods I'll need to make it through the long, cold winter here in Los Angeles. The yarn above and the book below are just the beginning of my preparedness kit assembly.

Let me help you out with the funny here: We don't have winter in Los Angeles. Also? I think those yarns together would make a lovely Chevron scarf.

I like living in a fantasy world where seasons change and Chevron scarves get completed. Don't mind me if I just stay here for a bit. I quite like it.

Anything is possible

2007-09-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. I have to say, I am amazed.

This morning at 8:30, my Sidekick was just about to leave for work when the little dogs began their usual business. Yipping. Yapping. Squealing, even. We froze and looked at each other with wide eyes and an anticipation I haven't felt since about Christmas of '76. What was going to happen?

After 10 seconds of the barking, it stopped.

And that was that.

No yelling. No auditioning for Annie Get Your Gun. Just silence. Long, long, peaceful silence.

"Should I yell 'thank you'?" my Sidekick asked me. We smiled with pride and disbelief and decided against it.

I guess I'm more of a cynic than I thought. I really didn't expect that situation would be resolved quite that quickly and effectively. The dogs just stopped barking, and not a peep from Broadway Steve. Not a peep! Propers all around, dudes. Way to take care of business!

This is very exciting, as it makes me wonder what other problems my Sidekick could solve with his powers.

Also? I will be among the 250 LA knitters seeing the Yarn Harlot tomorrow. If you're there and want to say hi, I'll be knitting that blasted Chevron scarf and carrying that bag that Ashley made me.

Now, about those powers...

Excuse me

2007-09-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

In the last few months, a new family moved into the condos directly behind our house. The family -- as far as we can tell -- consists of a man and his two (or three) small dogs. We know this because every morning the two (or three) small dogs begin their day with a high-pitched and unrelenting barkfest.

Complete aside: Barkfest reminds me that I used to work with a woman who pronounced breakfast "barkfarst". Bark. Farst. She herself admitted it was ridiculous, but she said she couldn't help it.

Anyway. Let me be clear. I love dogs. Really, really love dogs. I share custody of a small dog who I love more than life itself. But two or three small, very yappy dogs going at it at 7:00 in the morning? Nope. Don't like it. You can't make me.

To make matters worse, like a rooster letting you know the day has begun, the man yells at the dogs.

Marlo! Tommy! Come! Here! Marlo! Tommy! Marlo! Marlo!!

Cock-a-doodle doo, indeed.

To be clear, my Sidekick believes one of the dogs may be named Carlos. I contend the dogs are named after Marlo Thomas, but I suppose there could be a Carlos in there, too. This, along with the intensity of the noise, makes it impossible to know whether there are two or three of them.

So, yesterday morning it was 7:15, and the whole thing starts up. The barking, the yelling. And it wakes my Sidekick and me up. We've been enduring this for months now. I was kind of hoping it would just stop.

My Sidekick, a very well-mannered and smart fellow -- a man of action, if you will -- got up, went to the window, and let out one of those really loud whistles that some people can just make. It's really loud.

And all the noise stopped. Just like that.

Amazed at the power of it, I wondered aloud about what that whistle means to people and how they interpret it. My Sidekick suggested that it places people's attention on what they are doing. I contend it's really startling, but somehow everyone (every man) knows what it means. Am I right, ladies? Whatever. It worked. And I was glad.

And then there was this morning. It was a little better in that it was 8:45, not 7:00, and we were awake and going about our morning already. But still.

Marlo! Tommy! Come! Come!! Marlo! Tommy! Marlo! Marlo!! Tommy! Tommy!!

For the love of God.

I went to my Sidekick and just stared at him. A blank stare. A hopeless stare. A why-oh-why-Lord-must-this-be-so stare.

My Sidekick shook his head, walked over the window, and sat there for about 15 seconds. Listening.

Maaaarlo! Tommyyyyy! Maaaaaaaarlo! Maaaaaaaarlo!!

Oh, it was getting worse. It was now a sing-songy, ready-to-debut-on-Broadway belting out from the diaphragm.

And then my Sidekick responded. Loud and strong, assertive yet polite, genuinely curious with just a splash of judgment:

Excuse me. Do you have to yell at the top of your lungs every morning?

Silence.

No answer. No barking. Just silence.

I was truly impressed with the whole thing. It was perfect.

Now, here's the thing. And tell me if I'm wrong. If I had said such a thing, even forcefully, it wouldn't have had the same effect. I'd be some lady being bitchy. But that brilliant intervention out of a dude's mouth? Well that, my friend, is just the truth. It is to be listened to and heeded. A person will stop to be accountable if a guy is saying something is wrong. If a woman says something is wrong, she's too sensitive.

The good news is, my Sidekick is fully aware of this, and he uses his powers for good, not evil. The other good news is, maybe that dude will take his pair or trio of dogs and figure out a different way to deal.

The best news, here's a picture of my dog. You know, just as a palate cleanser.

You can tell by the look on his face, he doesn't like those little dogs either.

Caught in a swarm of Time Flies

2007-09-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

One year, 203 posts, and 1028 comments later, here we are. It's my one-year blogiversary, y'all.

Strange. It really has gone by very, very quickly.

I'm tempted to do a clip show - a remember this one? Or reflect on the process or something. But instead, I'll just leave it at a humble thank you.

To those of you who are kind enough to leave comments and suggestions, to those of you who lurk and come back, to those of you who make blogging a wonderful community undertaking. To you, reading this right now. Thank you.

It's been more rewarding than I'd ever expected it could be.

/earnest sentiment

(That last line? A sign I've reached serious geekiness. If it means nothing to you, just read it as "Here endeth the earnest sentiment." You know, because "endeth" is much less geeky than code.)

Bye, bye plastic bag. Hello, gorgeous!

2007-09-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

This blogging thing is really working out.

Look at this delicious and super-glorious bag, handmade just for me by Ashley of Dogged Knits:

Oh, I own this bag. It's mine. Can you believe it?

It's got the perfect innards -- pretty blue and perfect pockets. (Pretty Blue and Perfect Pockets are best-sellers in my line of dolls for young girls. They're adorable.) This is some serious quality, dudes. Ashley is not kidding around.

And it's soft and beautiful and look at that fabric!

The best part? It was part of a swap! She asked if I'd make her a card like this one, and she offered to make me something in return.

I'd never done a swap before, and I didn't want to blow it by sending one little card in exchange for one big bag. Since it was impossible to find a currency conversion chart for handmade cards to handmade bags, we just did our best. I made her a little handful of cards featuring pigeons, and she made me the bag to replace this foolishness.

So here's the audience participation portion of this post:

At one point Ashley suggested that my Pidge for All Seasons card collection (Get Well, Congratulations, Happy Birthday, and blank inside pidge) might be reason enough to start an Etsy shop. For those with Etsy experience, what say you about this? For those of you who would buy something from Etsy, what do you think? If I started an Etsy shop, which of my things would people be interested in buying? Handmade cards? Embroidered items? Sewn things? Anything?

Discuss.

Also? Please give Ashley her well-deserved props! I lovelovelove my bag!

Tender reputations

2007-09-04T13:50:00.000-07:00

Reputations are a complex thing. Sometimes based on thorough information, sometimes just a few incidents strung together, the reputation is a tricksy thing for sure.

Some guy you work with is always crabby and kinda mean? I'd bet that guy has a bad rep. What if it turns out dude has chronic back pain, and once that's fixed, he's perfectly lovely? You might change your mind about the guy, right?

OK. So. You could jump to conclusions about me if you simply knew that I have failed time and time again to get a handmade gift completed on time. You could. Jump away.

However! I've realized that it's not that I wait until the last minute. It's not. It's more that I tend to underestimate how long a gift is going to take to make. So, instead of calling me a procrastinator or shirker of deadlines, you might just call me a bad forecaster of the future. But then you'd be the one who'd look silly. Because who among us can tell what the future holds? Right?! OK, then.

This brings us to the top-secret item I was working on: A birthday gift for a good friend. I started working on it well in advance, and it took longer than I'd expected. More on that in a moment.

The birthday girl had once told me a story about how her grandmother and her mother, as they got older, would enter their bedrooms at night and say warmly, "Hello, bed." Like they were being reunited with a loved one. My friend thought that this -- being so pleased to collapse into bed at the end of a long day -- was a sign of aging, until she suddenly realized she'd started doing it, too. For her 40th birthday, I designed and embroidered a couple of pillowcases for her.

The pillowcases were store-bought (good thinking there), and I had originally planned on embroidering an identical set, both just like the one above. Except.

These took so much longer than I expected. So very much longer. And not just because of the do-over. That fishbone stitch or herringbone stitch, whatever it's called, takes forever. (So I'm a perfectionist. And, yes, it would go faster if I weren't. I'm aware. There's no need to yell.)

So, the second pillowcase -- made an hour before her surprise party -- looked like this:

You can even still see the outline of the embroidery hoop there, that's how fresh it was (how short on time I was) when it went into the gift-wrap. It's pretty and simple, but it also took me a very long time.

Obligatory photo apology: I managed to shoot these pictures while putting on my make-up, blow-drying my hair, and figuring out what to wear to the party. It was getting late. This was the best we could do.

Take-home lesson? You can't accuse my friend of being old, and you can't say I don't try. Because she's not, and I do. Sometimes you just have to make modifications to an original idea, that's all. (And truth be told, sometimes you have to admit you dabble a little in the perfectionism. Meh. It is what it is. Rock on!)

Note to self: Turn on the light.

2007-08-31T11:24:00.000-07:00

Just because a project is top-secret doesn't mean you have to make it in the dark.

Me (last night, talking to myself) : Ok, so that dark purple color looks good for that squiggly part. I'll use this dark brown for the not-so-squiggly part.

La dee dah. Stitch stitch stitch. Hmmm.

Me (to Sidekick later in the evening) : I'm not very pleased with how this secret project is turning out. For some reason the two colors I've used are looking really similar. I don't like it.
Sidekick: Huh.
Me: I can't figure it out. I used a purple and a brown, and they just don't look different enough.
Sidekick: I'm sure it's fine.
Me: No. I don't like it.
Sidekick: Huh.

Me (this morning, to myself again) : Let me see what is up here. Let's put this item in the sun and get a better look. If I simply place the dark brown floss directly between the squiggly and non-squiggly parts from last night...

Holy shit. Yeah, ok. Anyone could've made the same mistake, I suppose. But the truth of it is, the two colors looked "too similar" because they were -- in fact -- "the same".

Live and learn.

Saddest part? It's about 100 degrees here today. So while I sit by a window for the good light, pulling out last night's non-squiggly work and trying to finish the item, I will also be slow-roasting. Upside? By the end of the day I should be tender-er and juicier than when the day began. So I've got that going for me.

Delicious Purl

2007-08-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

I have a very dear friend who reads my blog, despite his having zero interest in crafting. He is a fine, fine friend indeed. Being an outsider to the crafting world, he makes observations about it that are astute and humbling.

"What I find truly fascinating," he once said to me, very sweetly, "is that the crafting movement seems to be all about hand-making things, standing up against corporate culture and consumerism, and yet..." He paused here for a moment to sheepishly chuckle, "you guys are always buying stuff!"

Yes. Yes we are. It's a puzzler.

From Purl (clockwise from left): Kacha Kacha row counter, knitting needles, bias tape maker, quilter's curved safety pins, and wool felt.

Oh, let me get you a closer look at those needles I bought.

Wait. That's not really clear. Here you go:

That shot is dedicated to my former LYS. You're welcome. (Instead of "You're welcome" I wanted to say "Peace, bitches!" but thought better of it. See how I did that? Smooth move, me!)

ANYway, let's briefly discuss the felt! It was expensive, but it is so beautiful. It has a really subtle herringbone pattern in it, and it's just great. Here's another photo of it.

Scrumptious!

Side note: Pleased with how those photos were turning out, I thought I'd give the embroidery another try in that same warm sunlight.

I'm starting to believe it just can't be done.

Oh, Irony. Is there nothing you can't do?

2007-08-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have so much fabric. So, so much fabric. A shameful amount, really. I have lightweight fabrics and heavier-weight fabrics. You want whimsy in a fabric? I've got it. All class? Got that too. And yet...

I'm carrying my knitting around in a raggedy-ass plastic bag.

The affront is not just that this bag is ugly or that it makes a lot of noise when you touch it. (Like people turn to see what all the commotion is about when I take it out of my purse. It's that kind of noisy.) The real rub is that I could make myself a perfectly glorious project bag. A really, truly spectacular little tote. I've got the fabric!

And yet somehow it just doesn't happen.

So I crinkle, crankle, crunkle in waiting rooms, at the car wash, at a friend's house. I apologize for the noise and try to keep it down.

Ah ha! Maybe that's why my Chevron Scarf isn't finished!

I'm so concerned about all the noise, I don't ever reach in to grab the little guy.

My poor little scarf is trapped in a loud bag 'cuz Mama won't make a quieter one!

Does that sound like excuse-making to you in any way? No? Yeah. I thought not. It's too airtight an argument to be an excuse.

Awesome.

The blurry means it's working.

2007-08-25T18:35:00.000-07:00

Embroidery of this pillow is still in progress.

I must think it's turning out pretty well since every photo I take of it is straight from Blursville, USA.

Also? Just to reiterate - the colors are SO much more beautiful than they appear here.

What I should do is go take a photography class with an emphasis in macro lighting tech-mology and not return to the blog until I've mastered that. Or I could go take a class in Photoshop so that I could adjust the colors after the fact.

Given that neither of those things is likely to happen, you'll prolly just have to keep trusting me... well, squinting so the photos will be in focus and trusting me. Spanks! We appreciate it!

I support things that support me back.

2007-08-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in revenge as a practice. I really don't.

But it just so happened that when I was poking around online last night, I saw that Purl had the needles that I need to make those socks. You know the needles. The ones that this one had never heard of. There they were! Ready to be bought! So I bought them.

Now, after all your comments and a lot of soul-searching, I decided I won't go back to the LYS that gave me so much grief about these needles (among other things). Life's too short. And there's no need to get involved in any more nonsense. Why buy the drama when you can get the milk for free? (Oh, wait. That's not how that goes.) It makes me genuinely sad to have to make those kinds of decisions, but it seems like the ethical thing to do. Just put the whole thing down and walk away with loving kindness.

I am happy to give Purl my business, as they have never been anything other than prompt and kind. They also have that kick-ass Purl Bee. So, there's that.

My sock-making, online-buying, picky-needling self is gonna just have to drive a little further to get knitting supplies locally. And that's too bad. But it's preferable to giving my money to a place whose business practices are so problematic.

Thank you for all your thoughts on it. If you have any others, I'm all ears (or eyes, I suppose, in this case).

Back to crafting content with photos tomorrow!

Totally random tip/observation

2007-08-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

I just discovered a way to reduce the chance I'll have a meltdown in the dressing room when shopping for clothes (one of my absolute least favorite activities).

(1) When going through the store, select every item I'm considering trying on in two sizes -- a bigger and a usual size, remembering that the size -- like weight -- has nothing to do with anything (not my discipline or my worthiness, etc.).
(2) Once in the dressing room, start with the bigger size of the item I like the best and has the best chance of looking good on me. This was my major discovery. Turns out, it really gets things off on the right foot and has me in a good spot for the rest of it.
(3) Remember that none of it is critical. It's just not.

I got lucky today and started with a kick-ass top that made every other top seem stupid. This allowed me to ask of the other tops, "Why would they make a shirt this shape?" and "What were they thinking?" as opposed to, "Why are my boobs so big?" or "Why am I so short?" The latter two questions? Nothing we can do about those things. The first two? Well, those are things that will change next week.

That's all. Just thought I'd share my random -- but major -- discovery.

Do you have other tips that work for you, or do you like clothes shopping and need not worry with tips?

An Embarrassment of Riches: The Parade

2007-08-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

Do people still go to parades? There are some that are always immensely popular (your Rose Bowls, your Gay Prides, your Weiner Dogs), but as a popular form of entertainment, I think the parade has pretty much been replaced by other (dare I say) more entertaining things.

That being said, a virtual Parade of Items has potential, I think. For starters, you are probably more comfortable right now than you would be if you were outdoors sitting on bleachers. Also? Maybe your choice of snacks is a little more varied than a pile of spun sugar, ice with syrup on it, or a snout tube on a stick. (Unless those are delicious to you, in which case I hope you have them handy.) Finally, if you're lucky, right now you aren't smushed up against a bunch of sweaty dudes, their kids, and... well, sweaty dudes. (Again, unless that's what you're into. And if that's the case, again, I hope you're knee-deep in them.)

Did you get lots of soft things to protect your precious bones from breaking when you see the awesomeness?

Ok, then. Cue the trombones, the clackety-clacking drums, and the flag wavers! Here comes your Parade of Items from My Birthday Shopping Spree!

First up... pandas.

You'll see here that the Pandas come in two colors -- delicious pink and fantastic yellow. Nice one, pandas.

Here come the sheep!

Those sheep are always a favorite with the knitters. These are on an especially hefty fabric. Who knows what this fabric could become?

Get a load of these guys.

Bears. What's the matter, fellas? Why so stunned? Out in the woods and don't know what to do? Come on. I'm sure you can think of something.

(As I side note, I hadn't really realized how many animal fabrics I'd grabbed in my frenzy. Plenty, apparently.)

Next up, a few representatives from Echino, the teeth-smashingly good line from Japanese designer Etsuko Furuya.

Stripes, dots, and more stripes.

Now, prepare yourselves to behold the Frenzy Maker. The big finish to the parade!

The fabric you are about to see is the last yard that Superbuzzy had of this colorway of this fabric. Getting it before someone else did was the reason I was so reckless with my purchasing.

When I tell you I squealed out loud when I saw it online, and then again in person when it arrived, I'm not lying.

Here it is.

It. Is. So. Beautiful... to meeeeee. (that's the high one at the end)

Hooray!! That's the parade, folks!

There are many other fabrics that were purchased that didn't get their floats together in time. But I'm sure they'll make some special appearances in the future. Keep a lookout.

We'd like to thank my PIC for her generous contribution to the madness, and we hope you found today's parade enjoyable. Drive safely!

(See? Another upside to the virtual parade. You may already be where you were headed! But, drive safely anyway. It's good for everyone.)

An Embarrassment of Riches: The Teaser

2007-08-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

I got so caught up in the yarn store story from Friday, I neglected to present the obligatory Parade of Items from that little spree I went on. So in that spirit, I offer you the teaser above. I don't mean to play games with you or anything, but I can't really parade until tomorrow. You understand. I still need to find a marching band and a baton twirler, and they aren't as easy to come by as you'd think.

Lucky for you, the delay should give you ample time to surround yourself with lots of soft things so that when you start freaking out at how cute and beautiful the items are, you won't hurt yourself.

So, between now and tomorrow, ensoften your surroundings. 'Cuz it's gonna get real cute, real fast.

P.S. Thank you all so much for your supportive comments about the yarn store thing. I really appreciated your sharing your experiences and sage advice. (Isn't it sad that most of us have had similar experiences? Sad! Urgh.)

Knowing, needles, and an LYS

2007-08-17T09:08:00.000-07:00

So I'm gonna make these socks, right? Right.

Wrong-yarn wrong-needles test? Check.

Run-through of the basic elements of the chart? Check.

Right yarn? Just arrived yesterday. Beautiful hand-dyed.

(As usual, poor quality of photos tells you how beautiful the yarn really is.)

Right needles? Still not in my possession.

Here's where my local yarn store (LYS) comes in.

The story I am about to tell you is from my perspective. Others who were there will tell you a different story, because that's how life is. And that's cool. Everybody's gonna have a different telling, but rest assured, my version will have the most flair.

Also, let it be known that I don't like to call people out. I really don't. But sometimes things are just too egregious to ignore.

Let me start by saying that my LYS is a complex place, made up of complex characters. It is very conveniently located around the corner from my house, so it's got that going for it. However, more often than not, my LYS has That Vibe rocking on full blast. Maybe it's because famous people shop there, maybe it's something else, but those ladies have somehow perfected the art of down-the-nose-vision. As I've said before about this, you're trying to sell yarn, no? You're not weeding the hacks out of the neurosurgery rotation. One day that gravitas is gonna kill a person.

OK. That's too strong. Sometimes they are perfectly cordial to me. Let's just dive in to what happened.

A few days ago, I decided I should just run into the store to buy the needles I needed for these fancy socks so that when the yarn arrived, I'd be ready. So, in the middle of the day I zipped over there. I was in a perfectly good mood, cheerful and friendly. Really. I would tell you if I'd been crabby. I promise you, I was at peace with the world.

There were three women in the store. One works there (the one who literally pushed me over once), one was a Regular who had come to knit for the afternoon. And the third was the Owner, who was sitting in a little knitting area across from the Regular. The latter two were knitting.

Me (to Owner, cheerfully): Hi! I need some needles.
Owner: OK.
Me: Just some double-pointed 1.5 US needles.
Owner (cocks her head to one side and squints a little. I get a little whiff of The Vibe): 1.5 US?
Me: Yep!
Owner: What are you making?
Me: Socks.
Owner and Regular together: OH!
Regular (knitting, not looking up): I've never understood why people make socks. You never see them!
Owner (to the Regular): Oh, there are people who love to make socks. Sockers.
She says "sockers" like someone might say "cancer" or "racists".
My inside voice: I'm standing right here.
My outside voice: I'm making some socks for a friend who asked me to make them for her. It's not that I really l-o-v-e to make socks.
Owner (to me): I've never heard of 1.5 US needles.
Me: Uhm.
Owner: There are 0. And 1. And 2. But no 1.5 US.
Me: Huh. That's what the pattern calls for.
Owner: Well, just because the pattern says it doesn't mean it's right.

At this point, I'm starting to get the sense that this isn't going well.

Employee: Let me show you what we have.
She disappears into the back.

The rest is a bit of a blur, a flurry of very awkward moments.

At one point the Owner tries to engage me with: You've been knitting this summer!
Me: A little, but I've actually been sewing quite a bit.
Owner: Me, too. But it's always with my knitting. What have you been sewing?
Me: I made the Purl Rabbit recently. From The Purl Bee?
Owner: Oh, yeah. She has a nice site. Do you shop from her store online? (very serious) Don't tell me you've bought yarn from her.
Me: I haven't. Cross my heart. I've bought fabric.
The Owner and Regular then get into a conversation about the "Yarn Shopper" and how savvy "they've" gotten, how they'll just look for the best deal online and buy their yarn there instead of in a store.
My inside voice: Again, I am standing right here. In. Your. Store.

The topic returns to needles, and the Employee is now trying to give me some Lantern Moon Ebony needles.
Me: Oh, I've had a bad experience with those. They split.
Owner: You don't know that.
Me: Yeah. I had some that just split and ate my cashmere.
Owner: But these might not.
Me: I've heard from other people that they've had the same experience with that needle. So, I'd rather go with metal. Do you have any metal needles?
Owner: No.
Me: Oh.
Owner: What kind of metal needles would you use?
Me: I haven't used them, but I hear Knit Picks makes good ones.
Owner (fully sponsored by The Vibe): Knit Picks makes needles?
Me: Yeah. They're what the Yarn Harlot uses.
Regular: The Yarn Harlot?
Owner (to the Regular): She's this wildly popular online knitter. I'm telling you, you have to cater to these people, because there are a lot of them.

My inside voice: I. AM. RIGHT. FUCKING. HERE!

Owner (and I swear to God she said this to me with the Vibe-iest Vibe that ever Vibed): For someone who doesn't really make socks, how come you're so picky about your needles?

I tried to make the best of it. I really did. I even bought some needles I didn't really need. The cherry on the sundae? This final exchange as I was leaving:

Owner: You should bring your socks in and come knit with us sometime.
Me (with a smile and a playful tone): I don't know if I will. They are socks.
Owner (not playful. at all.): Oh. Now you've got an attitude!

This was absolutely the craziest display of crazy-making I've seen in a yarn store yet. If they'd been super busy or I'd been acting like a jerk, it would be more understandable. It wouldn't be the best way to treat a customer, but I'd understand. But this? All I can figure is that someone with knowledge they've acquired online has somehow become public enemy number one at this store.

I understand that brick-and-mortar stores are having it rough. I do. I want to support local business as much as humanly possible. But this store is not just having it rough because of The Online. It's saying something when there's a yarn store right around the corner from me, and I'm not in it every day of the week.

Sad.

But here's a question: In the spirit of wanting a peaceful planet, should I take her up on her invitation and go knit with them? Try to better understand the situation?

No, right?

Making knots is fun

2007-08-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

We do love to make us some knots. Knitting? Series of knots. Embroidery? In this case, all knots. My stomach? Why yes, thank you for asking, it's in knots too.

I'm so thrilled to have had my Yarngentina post selected for the most recent issue of Yarnival! Cara did an incredible job of assembling a group of amazing writers and artists for this issue, and I am super-excited to be in their company.

The follow-up -- including actual photos of the yarns described and poorly drawn in that post -- can be found here, here, here, and here. It's worth a peek, if nothing else just for the aah-OOO-gah factor. It's pretty high, so you might want to prepare. (The Aah-OOO-gah Factor appears courtesy of that cartoon where one character sees another very attractive character and then his eyes aah-OOO-gah out of the sockets.)

In the meantime, while I un-knot my stomach, I'm continuing on with my version of this pillow. I didn't mark the fabric ahead of time, as some of you wisely suggested I do. Not because I don't love and respect you, but because I still haven't found a marking tool I really like, particularly for a bunch of dots.

It seems to be going OK so far, and I am especially pleased with my thread selections (the colors are really beautiful in real life. You're just gonna have to take my word for it).

However, since it has been going so well up to this point, that means debacles are right around the corner. And, as you should know, I am nothing if not an expert in debacles.

If you're new to my blog, please let me know you've stopped by, won't you? Cheers!

Happy Birthday to Due!

2007-08-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

August is a month full of birthdays, I tell you what. And today is my sweet father's birthday! I made this card for him, and if he likes it, maybe I'll even send it to him in the mail! (See how I did that? See how I made it seem like I'd missed sending it on purpose?)

For his birthday, I'd like to tell you a story that captures a lot about him.

When I went away to college, my dad would send me small packages pretty regularly. They were almost always sent in one of those manilla envelopes with a clasp, the perfect size for the items he'd send: the local paper from my small hometown, a handwritten letter, and some quarters so that I could do my laundry. Occasionally there were other tidbits, but those three were the regulars.

That was super sweet and thoughtful. Sending care packages at all was more than any of the other dads did. But here's the thing: When my dad does something, he really does it. And he does it with love and careful attention to detail.

(Prepare yourself for some serious cuteness.)

My dad would always decorate the outside of the manilla envelope with adorable and clever drawings. Sometimes they were nature scenes with butterflies and trees. Other times he would decorate them according to the season -- Halloween, Thanksgiving, Flag Day, what have you. Anyone who was around when I got my mail always asked to look at the envelope and then promptly turned green with envy when they found out it was from my father. He is not an artist for a living or even as a hobby really, and yet he is a profoundly talented artist.

But, I have to say, the crown jewel of these packages were the quarters -- not just because they were thoughtful and useful (for some reason there wasn't a change machine in the laundry room), but because of how they were packaged. My dad would take a pink index card and tape quarters on in neat rows. I think he usually got about 12 quarters on each side of a card. Again, very thoughtful and really handy -- just throw one of those cards on the basket of clothes and you were good to go. My dad thinks these things through.

But wait. There's more.

When I would take a quarter off, there behind it on the card was a tiny, adorable sticker that he had placed perfectly in the center of where the quarter had been. For every single quarter. Every single time. A small little sticker of a kitty or a heart or a flower. I mean, adorable. And perfect. So every time I took a quarter off that card, I was connected to him in that moment. I was connected to his creativity, his attention to detail, and his practical thinking. I was holding a creation he had made deliberately, with care and with love. And that's just not something you see every day. And it's certainly not something you see regularly for four years while you're away at college. Amazing, right?

There are so many exceptional things about my father, I am looking forward to many more birthdays so that I might regale you further with tales of his genius. (I suppose it doesn't have to be his birthday to do such a thing, but I would like him to have a lot more birthdays anyway.)

I love you, Due! Happy Birthday!

May there be care and love everywhere, always!

Happy birthday, SIL!

2007-08-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

It's my beloved sister-in-law's birthday today, and that is a glorious thing.

Here's what you need to know about my SIL: She can make something cute just by being near it. Her en-cutening properties are stunning to see in action.

Take this last Christmas, for example. We decided we were gonna do a little sewing project, just for fun.

Despite not being a seamstress of any kind, she just sat down at the table, and -- zip zap zop -- an apron!

Look how cute it is! This from a woman who, at one point in the process was all, "What's bias tape? I don't know what that is. Oh well, I'll just give it a try." And it was perfect. Yeah. She's that person.

Once she returned home to NYC, she added a little pocket onto the front in that same polka-dotted fabric. Adorkable!

She is talented and hilarious and brilliant and an awesome person all around. You can read more about her in these posts. I could not be happier that she and my little brother share their lives with one another.

Happy, happy birthday, chica! You really are the best. (I say we give three cheers.)

Why do you hate cute things so much?

2007-08-09T20:03:00.000-07:00

All I'm saying is Superbuzzy is having a sale. There are honest-to-goodness discounts on many items.

Between my PIC's generous birthday gift certificate and my own willingness to spend money, I just ordered a boatload of fabric. And the boat I'm referencing? Large. It's a large boat.

I could've been more measured and smart about my purchases, but I got all caught up in the frenzy. It was a little like this experience, only without the updates part.

See, what happens is, when you're looking at a particular fabric on Superbuzzy, you can see how much of it is left in stock. When I saw that there was only 1 yard left of a super-great fabric, I felt like I needed to race through my order to be sure to get it before someone else did. The only problem was that the fabrics are in alphabetical order, and the one-yarder started with "E". There were 705 fabrics, and I was only at about 180 at the time. (I would've linked to the fabric I'm talking about just now, but it's gone now. Because I bought the last yard!)

So, I may have been reckless. I may have just thrown things into my cart with arms a-flailing. There were things I'm sure I missed and things I grabbed without enough thought.

But, it's my birthday tomorrow, and I figure a little fabric-and-notions shopping spree isn't the worst thing in the world. (Even if the size of the spree was Large Boat.)

Huzzah!

For my next trick

2007-08-07T16:55:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Vacations are cool. There should be more of those.

Thank you so much for your sweet comments about Bunny! I'm amazed at what a hit she's been.

Riding the wave of Bunny's success, I am now very interested in making a modified version of this pillow.

I've selected the fabric and embroidery threads that you see above. (The fabric is actually a lovely rich lavender color, and the pillow will be for a dark chocolate brown chair, if all goes according to plan.)

I've done a sketch of the design I want to embroider that pleases me greatly. Now I am just trying to figure out whether to mark the fabric before embroidering it or whether I should just eyeball the design and get knotting. Eyeballing is probably funnier and more likely to yield "you'll never believe what happened..." posts. But marking it has the potential for "can you believe how much this looks like shit?" posts. So there's that.

While there are other projects still in the works -- these socks, the raglan sweater for Bunny, the Chevron scarf, Quiltie, and others -- this will be my only embroidery project in progress. Oh, I lied. There's still that Brazilian embroidery thing. No, wait! I didn't lie! That one was just a sampler. A SAMPLER!

Ha HA! Didn't you miss my crazy?

Yeah. Thought so.

Back in a flash

2007-08-02T00:22:00.000-07:00

My sidekick and I are off for an extra-long weekend holiday.

While I'm gone, please poke around the blog and read things you've never read, won't you?

I'll be back Monday.

Until then, may your crafting be glorious and your debacles spectacular!

Love,
Dr. B.

Bunny was a huge success

2007-08-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

I am proud to announce that Bunny's life just got a lot more exciting. And the transition from crafty item to cherished play companion was pretty remarkable to behold.

Bunny was presented to her proud new owner yesterday, an awesome and adorable 20-month old Little Girl, and they are truly and completely in love.

(As you know, I don't care for children. But for this particular Little Girl, I have a great deal of fondness. And watching this whole thing unfold yesterday only made that fondness grow.)

When they first met, Little Girl looked long and hard at Bunny's face, looking deep into Bunny's french-knot eyes to make sure Bunny was trustworthy and/or kind. After this careful assessment, it seemed all was good in the world, and Bunny was promptly relieved of her pink dress and placed face down on her little quilt for a nap. The pillow? That was placed on top of Bunny like a blanket. Well, that was for a second. The pillow then became Little Girl's pillow, and there was a quick demonstration of what taking a nap is, complete with "honk-shoo" snoring noises.

Then there was interest for a moment in putting Bunny's shirt on as Little Girl pants, but it was explained that those were Bunny's clothes, and that was fine. The pillowcase was worn as a glove for a moment, and Bunny's back was patted kindly with a be-cased little hand for a bit.

Then, a tiny mistake happened. It was time for Little Girl and Bunny to leave Dr. B.'s place, and Little Girl's Mom said to Little Girl, "Put Bunny in the stroller. It's time to go." Little Girl ran excitedly over to the stroller, and started to strap Bunny in. So happy and gleeful, she sort of called out, "Bunny. Stroller!" Very excited.

Mom went over to make the necessary adjustment. "Bunny and Little Girl both go in the stroller." No sooner had Mom said this and taken Bunny out of the stroller than Little Girl screamed with a desperation and panic I can hardly describe. BUNNY!!!! STROLLER!!!!!! Like something really, really bad was going to happen if Bunny didn't get to ride in that stroller. Like, "Did you not just tell me to put Bunny in the stroller?! What did you just say?! Bunny goes in the stroller, or she'll DIE!"

Fine. Bunny stays in the stroller.

As we all walked to their car, Little Girl walked alongside Bunny's giant stroller, occasionally stopping to offer Bunny some water from her sippy cup, or taking Bunny out so Bunny could get a closer look at the gardens we were passing. This was crushingly cute.

Since then (yesterday afternoon), Bunny has gotten her own Bun-sized stroller and has been pushed around all over, I hear. Before day care this morning, there was apparently prying from hands and much dismay that Bunny would not be going along.

Dudes. Who knew crafting could bring this kind of love? It may not last, as love sometimes doesn't. But for now? Such cuteness!

The Purl Rabbit, y'all. I highly recommend it.

Aw, shucks!

2007-07-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

I am thrilled to say that Kristy recently listed me as one of her picks for Rockin' Girl Blogger, and she said some very sweet things while she was at it. Very sweet.

At first I thought I'd just quietly acknowledge it and not write a post about it or anything. Why? I don't know. Because I'm a weirdo, I guess. But then I realized that was just rude. So here it is.

According to some (OK, one) I am a Jimmy Choo shoe convention. Eat it.

(Was that too much? Not humble, huh? I went all the way from private to rude. Just like that. This is why I should steer clear of acknowledging things. It turns ugly real fast.)

But seriously, I feel so lucky to have found a small group of brilliant women here in the crafty-bloggy community who care about being connected and supportive of one another, who love and make beautiful things, and who rock in every way imaginable. What a lovely thing, this.

Every last one of you rocks, and it would be impossible to pick just 5... particularly since most of you have already been pegged. Consider yourself rockers, one and all!

Fancy knitting

2007-07-27T10:00:00.000-07:00

Everything about this project is fancy: the pattern, the million-dollar needles, and the yarn. I didn't mention yesterday that I'm using a cashmere yarn for my test run. I know. It's foolish. I'm also using hundred dollar bills to scrub my kitchen, but that's neither here nor there.

So far, the only thing holding up in the fancy department is the pattern.

Nice 'n' fancy.

Ok. So, let's discuss the bendy needles.

You saw this one coming. Were you gonna guess that a needle went snap? If you were, you would've been off by one letter. Take a look.

Closer.

Is that a bit of cashmere sticking out of that needle, and clearly visible in the shadow? Yes, actually! Yes. It is. Right in the midst of knitting all fancy, my needle went snag. I could hang a coat off the piece of wood that's come up off this needle.

What the eff, people? These are million-dollar needles!

"Due to its density, ebony wooden needles take on a fine polish or gloss that only improves with use," says Yarn Market. What they meant to say is, "Upon first use, the Lantern Moon ebony needle will splinter apart abruptly but subtly, leaving a razor-sharp wedge to catch even the finest of yarns every time." I'm gonna just send that correction over to Yarn Market real quick.

Ok, so that brings us to the finest of yarns portion. This yarn is really soft and lovely. I got three balls on sale from the store where they push you over. And knitting with it yesterday was very soothing. So soothing, in fact, and looking so good in this pattern, I decided I'd keep these cashmere tester socks for myself.

CUT TO: Just a minute ago. I did a search for Filatura di Crosa Elen Cashmere yarn. I did this for you, so that you could click on "the yarn" above, and be sent to another site to learn more about the yummy yarn.

And now I take you into my head, only moments ago:

(looking at my search results) Yarndex. That looks good. [click] (reading) Yes. Made in Italy. Right. MSRP $ 17.95. Hmm. My LYS really jacked the price up. Good thing I got it on sale. Yes. Good. Oooooh, look at all those colors. Pumpkin. Mauve. There are like a hundred colors here, and only one is discontinued! Cream. (long, sad pause) Is mine cream? (momentarily hopeful) Maybe it's not. (reading more closely) "DISCONTINUED COLORS: 04 Cream". OK.

At this point, I didn't have the courage to turn my head to look at the yarn label that was just to the left of my left hand. Head still, eyes slowly panning to the left, I looked a the label.

Right under "Colore - Shade Farbe Couleur" was stamped just one thing. The number 4.

No fancy tester socks for me. I'd broken one of the basic rules of knitting: Buy enough yarn for your project when you first buy your yarn. You might never see that yarn again.

Fancy knitting. It ain't all gravy.

What do you know? More blurry photos!

2007-07-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

First, a haiku:

Blurry yarn photos.
My theory lives on in them.
Loksins makes me shake.

Second, don't be surprised if I accidentally snap these million-dollar ebony needles in the process of making these socks. They sure are bendy, I tell you what. When I do snap them, I will be sure to say a lot of really crazy cuss words and maybe also accidentally poke some part of my hand or arm with them or something. You know. To make it more entertaining.

And third, knitting is fun! I kinda forgot during the Bunny Flurry how fun knitting is. Sure, sure. In two seconds I'll be griping about how this stitch didn't work or how my gauge is off or something. But for now, I'm in love.

In LOVE!

More Than I Can Chew is my middle name

2007-07-24T12:59:00.001-07:00

Has anyone made these?

I've seen lots of them on Ravelry, and a friend has just asked if I'd make them for her.

You're probably thinking a few things:

1. This friend is over-estimating my abilities.
2. This friend doesn't really know my slow-moving ways.
3. This friend may not be a friend once this thing gets going.

Given my track record with sock completion, I am reluctant to really commit. (Yes. There are still outstanding socks from Xmas '06 for my sidekick, my dad, and my brother. And?) This fancy girly sock may be just the thing to get my sock engines revving again. All the unfinished socks are boring tube-like socks. (Sorry, tubes and boys.)

Here's what sold me on doing this fancy sock: This friend said that she's discovered that after reading my blog for a while, clicking through to other sites and seeing other people's creations, she's become a "knitting spectator". How great is that?! Knitting as a spectator sport? Awesome.

I think a knitting spectator should get some kind of reward for their support. The reward may or may not be this sock. That remains to be seen. I'm gonna do a little test sample of the pattern this afternoon and see what comes out.

Just because I don't own needles small enough to make this sock is inconsequential at this juncture. Let's not jump to conclusions about what it means that my needles will be too big, or based on the fact that I'm at a first-grade reading level when it comes to reading knitting charts.

Seriously, let's not jump to conclusions.

You may make wagers if you'd like. That seems different to me somehow.

Bunny has a scarf

2007-07-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

You know what takes exactly two seconds to make? A scarf for a 12-inch rabbit.

It didn't really take me two seconds, but Stomp The Yard on DVD is to blame for that. Piece of advice for the knitters? This is not really a movie to knit to -- unless you find drooling and heart palpitations provide added value to your knitted item. If that's the case, then be my guest.

Do not fear, kind reader. Operation Bunny Friedan is nearly complete. Once I've finished the little raglan sweater, I might make a small tote bag for all of bun-bun's items, and then that's it. I'll be back to my hodgepodge of craftery in no time.

And, for the record, I said might make a little tote bag. As always, don't hold me to that. Because if you do, it'll just be awkward for everyone.

Bunny pride

2007-07-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

I've cracked the code.

Remember when I said I thought the Purl Rabbit was stealing my funny? I was wrong.

What has been stealing my funny is my recent reluctance to talk about my crafting debacles in detail. That is absolutely it! I've been all earnest, and isn't the rabbit cute and awww look at her clothes. And that's just not funny like making 39 mistakes a minute is funny.

If I had the energy or the constitution, I'd start a new blog, and I would call it Debacles in Detail. That sounds quite good, and it has the nice double meaning. Out of that one title you get (1) details about numerous debacles and (2) ways that attention to detail is lacking and/or debacle-y. See? Change the word you emphasize, and you've got a different thing. Dual-purpose things are cool.

Maybe I'll change the sub-title of this blog to Debacles in Detail. If I do that, will you promise you'll pronounce it debb'-a-clees to keep with tradition?

Great.

Before I do that -- if I do that -- allow me to share a last couple of earnest and sweet and unflinchingly not-funny photos of Bunny tucked in for the night.

On her pillow, under her quilt, with her ear flopped down, she is pretty cute.

It's a shame I'm not up for really bringing it right about now. Because I tell you what. With the quality and quantity of debacles in that little quilt alone, I'd have enough material to play every Chuckle Hut and Funny Factory in the country.

(Chuckle Hut and Funny Factory are names I just made up in my head. If you have an establishment named either of those things, my apologies for assuming I could get a gig at your venue relying solely on crafting-related disaster comedy. I am not a comedian and do not intend to minimize the difficulty and skill associated with that profession. Again, sorry.)

I promise I'll swallow my Bunny pride and share more of the disasters with you here. That be-holed raglan sweater still needs the sleeves to be attached. We all know where that's headed.

Bunny has a pillow

2007-07-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Bunny's chillin' on her new pillow.

She likes it because it's fluffy and has its own pillowcase.

Bunny sleeps easy on the pillow.

Now if only someone would finish that mother-flippin' quilt, maybe a rabbit could actually get some sleep around here!

Bunny has some anger. Pillows and cute clothes can only do so much. At the end of the day, Bunny's gotta have what Bunny's gotta have. And Bunny's got to have that quilt.

Fingers crossed that Dr. B. can come through on this one.

Bunny needs a blanket

2007-07-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Because I've apparently lost my mind, and because I don't feel like fixing that raglan sweater yet, I'm making a doll-sized quilt for Bunny Friedan*.

Here's Bunny posing with the quilt-in-progress:

Close-up of the machine-quilted quilt top:

Another shot of the top. (This one really showcases the design features of this quilt.) :

Because it's for the rabbit, I cut all kinds of corners on this thing. I really did. Think of a corner. Chances are good that I cut it. So when I say design features, I'm actually talking about WTFs. Puckers, distortions, and other imperfections. (If I were ever to write a quilting book, that would most certainly be its title.) But you know what? Bunny doesn't care. She's just happy to have a face.

I'm going to try to remember how to put a binding around the edge, and then I plan on making a little pillow and pillowcase to complete the set.

If the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior (and I'm not completely sold on that idea), I should be cranking out a nice collection of well-intentioned but poorly-executed bunny items here in the next few days: quilt, pillow, pillowcase, maybe a few more clothing items. But then I've gotta walk away. I've got knitting to do!

*Thanks to Kim for Bunny's name!

LA is so weird

2007-07-16T15:25:00.000-07:00

I went to one of our outdoor malls today to pick up some necessary items. (I don't like malls, but on weekdays they're a little less oppressive to me.)

And here is my rant about shopping.

I hate it. Really. You'd never know it from how I go on and on about this purchase from Purl and that purchase from my local yarn store. But grown-up shopping? You know, shopping for clothes and housewares and, well, clothes. Not for me.

I get overwhelmed by who I'm giving my money to, what their labor practices are, what the company is doing to/for our culture. I get creeped out by synergy, promotions, and sales. There's always a sense that I've been demographed (not even a word, I'm sure) and profiled so that they know they've got me right where they want me. It's anxiety-provoking at a minimum. Nervous breakdown-inducing at a maximum.

But sometimes a girl's gotta buy new drawers.

In negotiating the tension between trying to be ethical and trying to save my sanity, sometimes I just go with what's easy (See? They've got me right where they want me.). One of those easy things is shopping at a fancy outdoor mall that has a huge fountain, and valet parking, and a mess of corporations in the form of stores. I don't park in valet parking (it's like $20 or some shit). And I try to get in and out as quickly as possible.

I won't bore you with the details of my shopping trip, but I will tell you that one place tried to "give" me a stuffed dog with my underwear purchase. And by "give" I mean spontaneously put it in my bag, tell me it's free, then try to charge me $10 for it. After I told the cashier that I didn't want the dog, she tossed it over her shoulder into a giant bin. A giant bin full of these dogs. I was obviously not the first person who was unable to figure out why someone would need or want a stuffed dog with her underwear purchase.

Anyway, the whole point of my story is that at this mall, if you spend over a certain amount of money, you get a voucher for free parking. This includes valet parking. A $20 value! In order to get the voucher, you must take your receipts to the Concierge (Yup. We've got a concierge at our mall. Suck it, Orange Julius.) who will then tally and stamp them and give you the parking voucher. Today I spent the requisite amount, so I patiently stood in line awaiting my turn.

After the man who needed to cash some traveler's checks was finished, I stepped up to the counter.

Concierge: Good afternoon. Could I have your phone number, please?
Me: [phone number]
Concierge [types into computer]: Are you still at [work address]?
My inside voice: They're demographing me right now.
My outside voice: Yes.
Concierge: OK. [stamps my receipts with fancy mall logo] Here you are, Dr. B.. Your receipts, your parking, and your free Hairspray soundtrack. Have a great day.

Ha HA! You know what goes perfectly with a parking voucher? A Hairspray soundtrack. Unexpected. Unsolicited. Unrelated to anything having to do with anything.

The marketing dude who came up with doggies for undies was obviously on a roll. Valets and musicals! What will he think of next?

Be-holed! I'm putting the "rag" back in "raglan".

2007-07-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Allow me to share what it sounded like inside my head yesterday.

I'm gonna knit that little raglan sweater for my Purl Rabbit! I've really zipped through the other clothing items. Dress? Check. Pants? Yes. Top? Yups. All that's left is that little raglan sweater! Let's do this thing!

I've never made a raglan sweater, but how hard can it be? It looks pretty straightforward.

I'll use the yarn that sweet Kristy sent me, because it's kind of bright and eye-catching. It seems like the right weight, so I'm not gonna bother swatching. It's a tiny sweater. If I jack it up, I'll just do it over. Right? Right.

OK. Now let's see here. Sleeves? Very easy. Knit, knit, knit.

Oh, shit. When you bind off stitches do you count the first one you knit or the first one you bind off? I can't remember. I could look it up, but I'll just figure it out. I'm sure it's fine. Bind off three stitches.

Two sleeves? Check!

Back of sweater. Yes. Easy easy. Let's watch some TV while we do this. Garter stitch la la la. Goldie Hawn really did look like Kate Hudson when she was younger! Oh shit, I think I purled when I was supposed to have knitted. Eh. It's fine.

Doo-dee-doo. Stockinette stitch. La dee dah.

What's next? Armholes! Attaching sleeves! Ok, great! Oh. We're back to that bind-off question again. I really should look it up. Ah, screw it. It's fine. I'll just do it this way. Bind off six stitches.

Huh. Maybe it's not fine. Well. I'll do the second sleeve the other way and see which one looks right. Let's keep this thing moving, people. Attaching... sleeves.

Wow. That's a really big hole right there. Yeah. Right next to the really big hole that's supposed to be there.

So, yeah. One bind-off way was the right way, and one was the wrong way. OK. So? And? We knew that. That's what we knew. We knew it already. So.

I'll just sew it up at the end, and who's gonna know the difference?

Oh. Right. You all will.

OK.

I thank you not to point while you laugh. It only reflects badly on you.

I shall finish the little rag and we'll all see who's laughing then. (Put your money on you.)

Purple pants and politics

2007-07-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

I was going to write all about the hilarious mishaps involved in sewing these clothes for the adorable Purl Rabbit (and, believe me, there were mishaps).

I was also toying with the idea of writing a bit about my concerns about the skinniness of this rabbit.

I was all set to write a witty piece on the complexities of blogging and feminism and the making of cute crafts, and then I read the Yarn Harlot's post for today. And then there was no more funny. Please go read it right this second if you haven't already.

(I am beginning to worry that the Purl Rabbit, while very cute, may be the Kryptonite to my super-hilariousness. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.)

Oh, hi there.

2007-07-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well, hello. How lovely to see you.

My rabbit was all dress and no face long enough. I held my breath and crossed my fingers and spent yesterday afternoon embroidering the face...

...and attaching the ears.

Perfectly acceptable.

Is it wrong that I can't wait to make more clothes for her? The sweaters, the pants, the tops. All of it.

And can you believe how this post has not a single ounce of hilarious in it? Turns out it's impossible to have razor-sharp wit in the face of a cute stuffed rabbit. Everything just turns into goo and rainbows. And goo and rainbows aren't as funny as you'd think they'd be. Goo, maybe. Rainbows? Not funny.

There's more funny around the corner. For now, let's just all enjoy the cute.

Chickens make dresses

2007-07-06T08:32:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, when the tough gets going, Dr. B. does something else.

Rather than attaching the ears and embroidering the face of this rabbit yesterday, I made a dress instead.

Look, I got scared. Real scared. I wasn't ready to ruin my beloved rabbit with some bad embroidery. I did manage to draw a face on very lightly, but after that, it was all chicken all the time.

What's ridiculous is that I don't think I've ever sewn an item of clothing before (except for that Holly Hobby bathing suit I've mentioned). But suddenly, sewing a small dress with pleats seemed like the perfect thing to do to calm my nerves.

If you'd been here while I was making it, I think you would've been impressed with the number of flaws there were in the process. And the number of times I spoke out loud to myself about the whole thing.

"Oh, I'll just make this the back piece. No one will notice."

"Well. I guess I'll just slice this whole part off. Then it will line up, and everything will be fine. FINE!"

"Mmm. Well. It is what it is."

I am not in the running for Miss Rabbit Dress 2007 . But you know what? That's really OK.

I think I'll be OK, everyone.

All my people and a rabbit

2007-07-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

ME: I think I'm gonna make this Purl rabbit.
SIDEKICK: Really?
ME: Yeah. It's really cute, and you can make lots of clothes for it, like a dress and some pants and a little top.
SIDEKICK: Uh huh.
ME: Also? You can knit a little sweater for it. It's super cute.
SIDEKICK: You'd better blog about it first.
ME: What? Why?
SIDEKICK: Last time.
ME: What "last time"?
SIDEKICK: Just two seconds ago, when you were gonna make that $300 blanket -- all your people gave you shit.
ME: Right.
SIDEKICK: Right?
ME: Not all of them. They were all really sweet and totally right.
SIDEKICK: I'm just saying. They know what's what. Maybe they'll know something about this rabbit.
ME: But it doesn't look that hard.
SIDEKICK: Uh huh.
ME: And I want to try out my new stuffing!
SIDEKICK: Sure.
ME: I'm just gonna make it.
SIDEKICK: {Has a nice little laugh about my foolishness and goes on about his business.}

Here's how far I got on the rabbit yesterday. Oh, but the ears aren't actually sewn on yet.

It would've gone quicker, but my first set of legs and ears were sewn way too narrow, so I couldn't turn them inside out. When I say "couldn't" I mean I tried for about an hour and a half using all manner of tools, including a pencil, a corner turner, my widdle fingers, and a chopstick. You can't say I don't try.

Up next: Ear attachment. Face and feet embroidery. And then making those adorable clothes.

(Let's not yet rule out the possibility that my embroidery could turn this super-cute rabbit into a scary-faced creature, not suitable for viewing. For the next day or so if you're looking for me, I'll be teetering on the fine line between cute and scary. Wish me luck.)

Maybe this time will be different

2007-07-01T21:58:00.001-07:00

I am strongly considering crocheting a blanket. This blanket, to be exact. The square above is a wrong-yarn, wrong-hook test square (WYWHTS) to see if I could stand to crochet something.

Why, yes. I have been burned by crochet in the past, thank you for remembering. And I have, as a direct result of those burns, made strong statements about how I feel about crochet.

In my defense, the strong statements were typed in a very small font, so I think this leaves plenty of room for me to give it another chance. Did you see that font? It was the smallest! Anyway, things deserve second chances. So there.

Here's the part where I might need to seek some professional help, though: I am strongly considering spending a lot of money to make this blanket. I'm not going out of my way to do this. It's easy to do! All I have to do is use the yarn that the pattern calls for, and right there you're looking at -- I'll let you do the math if you're so inclined -- 22 skeins at $13.50 per skein equals a lot of money.

I might have some problems. I'm willing to admit that. But why do something if you're not gonna really do it?

What I like most, I think, is the idea of each of you sitting and laughing a little bit at what a foolish undertaking I'm about to embark upon. That pleases me in a way that even I find surprising.

Who knew?

I've got your soft dreamy layers right here, pal.

2007-06-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

The sweet UPS guy just delivered my order from Purl (which got here so fast), and it is full of glorious random items.

Sure, I'd gone to Purl to buy a magazine for a particular pattern, but while I was there, it seemed only reasonable to get some stuffing for a someday pillow, some tester sizes of the soap that people love for their handmades, and three Robert Kaufman fabrics - berry, coal, and cocoa - also for the someday pillow. Right? I don't want to make a big plane fly and a big truck drive all the way here just to hand me a magazine.

I am overwhelmed with excitement and confusion.

What will become of me and my dreamy layers?

Aaaarrghh!